Good Thing I Have A Sense of Humor
Dinner Table Conversation:
DADDY: I spent my entire day yelling at the animals. I had to tell your stupid dog to leave my cat alone. Then I had to tell my cat to stop beating up on your dog.
ME: Your cat is evil.
(Insert grinding noise here)
DADDY: What’s that noise?
ME: The cat is standing on your shredder.
DADDY: What!?
ME: I can see her – she’s standing on the shredder. She’s staring at the dog. I think she’s trying to lure the dog over to her in hopes that she’ll get caught in the shredder. From where I’m sitting, it looks more like the cats paws are in danger of becoming ground meat.
DADDY: Damn cat! Get off of there! You’ll shred your paws!
(The door bell rings)
DADDY: Who’s at the door?
ME: I don’t know. Why don’t I go see?
(Enter the realtor, Ginger)
GINGER: Hi Mr. Daddy. I’ve got 754 pieces of paper for you to sign so you can buy that house for your daughter.
DADDY: Ginger, you’re a pain in the ass.
ME: But you love her, don’t you!??!!
DADDY: Yeah……..(grudgingly)
GINGER: And I’m so good at it. Now sign!
DADDY: (Unintelligible grumbling while signing.) Hey – this is a nice pen!
GINGER: You can have it. Lord knows that if I don’t give you something free I’ll never have any peace!
DADDY: Good. I’ll take it.
GINGER: It’s refillable.
DADDY: You got one that’s fuller than this one?
GINGER: (digging in purse) Yes – here.
DADDY: That’s it. All done. (now addressing comments to me) DO NOT ASK ME FOR ANOTHER DIME.
ME: OK – except that Chickie needs new school clothes. I’ll need money for that.
DADDY: She’s got clothes.
ME: Not the right kind for the school here.
DADDY: Then let her go without.
ME: I’ll tell her that. But… I don’t think that being nekkid is in keeping with the dress code.
DADDY: Oh.
GINGER: I’m leaving now.
DADDY: You don’t need any more money from me, do you?
GINGER: Not today….
DADDY: Don’t call me any more. Call SW with any questions. I don’t want to hear any more about this. It’s her house. Bother her. Harass her. Call her all the time. Just leave me alone. I don’t feel good. I’m a grouchy old man and I’m not getting any younger. Did I tell you we had a dog named Ginger once?
GINGER: OK. I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye. (exit Realtor)
ME: I’m gonna have to bring my cats down here soon.
DADDY: They can stay outside.
ME: OK. They’re both females and neither one has been neutered.
DADDY: Well… can’t you leave them in Atlanta?
ME: NO.
DADDY: Your turn to do the dishes.
You gotta laugh, you know? You just GOTTA laugh.
🙂
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yeah, definetly gotta laugh.
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Sounds like an interesting relationship, Dearie!
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I just knew I should have peeked in sooner… wiping tears of laughter from her eyes …OH My lol another avid Torin Fan from way back….revived under a new name lol thank you for the laughter
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Poor Daddy snicker. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at them. It really makes them mad snicker which makes it funnier. 🙂
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hey, the brackets around my ‘snickers’ dissapeared. *grin*
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I Alexias do thank Sunny for all those notes. I hasten to assure you that cats are not naturally evil but some are psychotic and in need of a couch and caring person which I have no doubt that you are. I am so glad someone understands what I have been trying to write! The majority of all the words are directly from the persons themselves with little invented.. Alexias PS Isadora next!
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I have to say that I do enjoy receiving notes! Wish for stacks but I do not get too many which is probably as well as I would stop writing! I miss my poor cat who sadly died from cancer.. Alexias
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Laughing with you my friend :^)
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test note
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I like him. Not that I don’t like you, but I like him. Maybe because I don’t have to live with him. With a smile…
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I think Torin is on to something there. It is ALWAYS easier to like someone you a) are not related to and b) do not have to live with. Yes, I would say laughter is by far the route to take here. Congrats on the new home. And remember to call the lock smith first thing after Daddy leaves with his key. 🙂 xoxo
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Oh dear, yes you have to laugh, it’s the only thing you can do. It kind of reminds me of what it would be like if I lived with my mother for any amount of time. 🙂
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all growl and no bite !!! i know where you are at , keep laughing 😉
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my parents drive me nuts if I am with them for more than 5 hours… you are a braver person than I am…
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Hilarious!! You could write for TV with that kind of fodder. (I suspect it takes more than a sense of humor on occasion to deal with all that too!) ~:D
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There’s something in the image of the cat putting itself through the shredder that really appeals to my evil side. I’m going straight to hell. With much snorking…
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LOL! His grumpiness shows how much he loves you… really!!!! Maybe, the dog was luring the cat, maybe the dog has got used to her wily ways and is now turning the tables. The dog was probably salivating as her paws got nearer the shredder blades…… heh heh heh
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RYN:I use to be here as Velvet’s Heart…. OMG spent an awesome summer solstice here in TN. Great drumming…got to let my new drum talk all night long it was wonderful.. let me know about the drum circle can’t wait to hear about it.
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Did this actually happen? It sounds like a sit-com to me.
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Dear Sunny W So many thanks to you for your wonderful notes and understanding of what I have tried to do with these poems. Near 90% are the words of the persons themselves except for I,Lucifer! I am not on great terms with this last person so have to imagine more. Right now I have come to a stop…being in depression over personal state but then from this maybe more writing may come! Alexias ale
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lol… yup, you just kinda gotta go with it, eh? else it will drive you crazy! i remember times with my dad. i did love him but his attitude at times left something to be desired….
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sounds like you are dancing this poor man round in circles..chuckles and he is enjoying every bit of it huggles you warmly
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He sounds like my dad! How funny your dialogue is. FOD was screwing up all weekend, btw. This is the first time I’ve seen this entry, and it’s three days later. Grrrrrr…. I couldn’t leave notes or save my entry on Saturday and it’s still running sloooooooooowly today.
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Oh my! 🙂
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it is good to have a sense of humor, i could never handle having to deal wiht my dad
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Your dad sounds great! I bet u’ll have some very interesting times there…LOL
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LOL !……. GREAT ENTRY ! STILL LAUGHING….. 🙂
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