School Days – Wolfie Style

I did something yesterday that I have never done. I allowed my daughter, Chickie to stay home from school on a day she wasn’t sick. She had asked me earlier in the week if she could stay home today to study since she has exams tomorrow. Riiiight. You remember trying that line on your parents, don’t you? “If you’ll just let me stay home, I’ll study all day – I promise!” Translation 1: “I haven’t studied all term and I am in panic mode.” or Translation 2: “I just want a day off and if I tell you I’m studying, maybe you’ll go for it.”

Normally I wouldn’t bit for this – and Chickie knows it. There was a crucial difference this time. This time, I would be at home and could monitor the amount of studying done or not done. With some reservations, I lay down some ground rules to Chickie.

1. You may stay home and study Algebra WITH MY HELP.

2. You will listen to what I have to say when I try to help. At the very least, you will not snap at me and act as if I am a moron when I point out where you are making mistakes.

3. You will not stay up all night the previous night. You must be up at a reasonable hour (as defined by ME) and start studying immediately after breakfast.

4. You will do what I say when I say it – without backtalk or argument.

Chickie agreed to all the terms and conditions with remarkably little hesitation. Wow. She must be serious about this studying business (see Translation 1). I crossed my fingers, hoped that her short term memory was functioning, and agreed to her request.

She got up all by herself at a reasonable hour. There was a slight delay while she walked to BK for breakfast. After all, we were all out of lunch meat AND cereal. Not even any cold pizza. Nope – no suitable breakfast food here. When she got back, true to her word, out came the Algebra book. Let the studying begin!

I don’t know about you – but it’s been more than a year or two since I’ve worked high school Algebra problems. Thank the Goddess that her book has the answers to odd numbered problems in the back. Needless to say – I only assigned her odd numbered problems as practice.

We started at the beginning.

“Do these problems, Chickie.”

BIG SIGH.

“I need a pencil sharpener. My pencil is dull.”

“Here – use my mechanical pencil.”

BIG SIGH.

“Ma! I’m done!!”

“OK – let me see.”

“These are right – these are wrong. Do the ones that are wrong over.”

BIG SIGH.

“Ma! I’m done.”

Go back two sighs and begin again.

And then a miracle occurred. Chickie began to get snappish with me. (Drum roll please – cause here comes the miracle……..) I didn’t snap back. I simply reminded her that she had agreed not to treat me like an idiot. Crisis temporarily averted. Hang on – wait a minute. Is that the snap-dragon I see again? You won’t get me, snap-dragon! I reminded Chickie that there was no reason to snap at me. I was – AT HER REQUEST – attempting to help her.

Then came magic to augment the miracle. Chickie began to relax. She began to truly TRY as she worked problems. She began getting more and more problems correct. And was that a SMILE on her lips? We began to work TOGETHER on the difficult problems. Every once in a while the snap-dragon would try and escape its cave – but I always managed to banish it back to the depths.

Quicker than I would have believed possible we arrived at the designated stopping time. Chickie’s confidence was boosted. I had relearned how to find the slope of a line. (rise over run – anybody want to know how?????) Most importantly – Chickie and I had connected on a different level. What could have been a day filled with frustration and conflict had turned into a blessing. I love my daughter (although sometimes I forget that!). What a lucky mom I am!