Apathetic George-The Adventures!

This came out of a trip to the zoo this past weekend. I was lucky enough to get to meet Winifred the Frog and Toadster at the zoo! We had a wonderful time, waved at all the animals, and laughed a lot. SOME of us even ate chunky monkey ice cream (BUT NOT TOADSTER!!). Winifred has more of the details in her diary – check it out! The germ for this little story came out of that trip to the zoo – and I BY NO MEANS claim full responsibility for this warping of a children’s classic!

Adventure One in Which George Gets Trampled by Hippos (Abridged)

Apathetic George was a rather unremarkable monkey. Whereas some monkeys have splendidly bright blue butts, George was the same dull Sandy Brown color all over. Not that it bothered George. He didn’t care. George didn’t care about much.

George had only one friend and that was The Man in the Putty Hat. George lived with him because…..well because he was much too phlegmatic to actually find a place of his own. Not that many places rent to monkeys, but George just didn’t care enough to look. George didn’t care about much.

Why was George so lethargic? There were many rumors, including one that The Man in the Putty Hat had coerced George into living by his own motto: “Better living through better chemicals”, but that was never confirmed. Whenever anyone asked George about his apathy, he would just say, “Who cares?” George didn’t care.

One bright and sunny Saturday, The Man in the Putty Hat dropped George off at the zoo. George didn’t know exactly why, but he didn’t really think to ask about it. George let himself be drawn along by the crowd, going this way and that, pushed from this exhibit to that one. George took it all in calmly and never really got excited about any of it, although he did feel rather drawn to the Pandas. It appeared to George that Pandas in the zoo have the perfect life – they lie on their backs stuffing bamboo chutes into their mouths while folks take pictures. George was pretty sure he could handle that lifestyle, not that he cared enough to pursue it, mind you!

Without realizing it, George found himself in front of the Hippo display at feeding time. Folks at the zoo were quite anxious to see those big hippos eat and were pressing against the fence with more than a little determination. George was being squashed! But George, true to form, just sat there comatose.

All at once the fence gave way! People started screaming and running this way and that! Some folks were even yodeling (because they had heard that yodeling soothes hungry, hungry hippos). At the edge of the nearly hysterical crowd stood The Man in the Putty Hat, with some wire snips in his hand, a fence pole crushed under his boot, and an evil laugh on his lips. Perhaps, George thought, The Man in the Putty Hat is not my friend after all. Ah well, George really didn’t care. Have I mentioned that George didn’t care about much of anything?

George looked up just in time to realize that the hippos were charging and THEY were not Disney animatronics like the rhinos were! George thought that perhaps he was not going to have such a good day after all and then…

That was the last thought George had on that particular day, as 20 tons of incensed hippos with really rotten breath trampled him into the mud. Fortunately for George, the hippos were a bit on the apathetic side themselves and really didn’t care to exert the effort to finish him off. That left our hero with plenty of time to lie in the mud and recuperate for his next adventure………….

There you go, Winifred…….now it’s up to you and/or toadster to take up the story!!!