A Celebration of Twenty Years

Twenty years ago yesterday things were sure a-poppin! I went to the doctor and he told me I was in labor and I’d better get my butt (and all the attached parts) to the hospital. Well, hubby was in the hospital already. He had fallen and lacerated his kidney just days before. I wasn’t going anywhere without my momma! The doc argued. I won. I went home and called my momma. She came and got me and THEN we went to the hospital. Let’s just summarize most of the rest of that afternoon by saying that it was quite the comedy of errors. Of course, I wasn’t laughing right at the moment. However, by the end of the night I was tired, sore and had a lovely baby boy.

Every moment from that day to this has been full of wonder. I didn’t know a thing about babies, but he taught me with grace and patience. He took things into his own hands. He had a plan and a time schedule. The milestones in his life were all managed by him. One day it was time to talk, so he did. The same with walking. He was ready to give up the bottle long before I was. One day he threw it down and would never drink out of it again. No fooling around with an inexperienced mother for this boy!

As he grew, he continued to teach me. I learned lessons about what unconditional love truly is. There were no limitations or constraints placed on his love, no matter how many mistakes I made…and there were many. I learned lessons in fairness, in spirituality, in hope, in striving, in friendship, in respect, in integrity, and in all things male.

I became a scout master. I should have known then that I was in for a bumpy ride. It’s said that God protects fools and children….guess my son and I were BOTH covered! Just about the time I mastered scouthood, his focus changed. Next I learned baseball.

He was smooth, this boy child of mine. He knew that someone who had grown up in a world totally devoid of team sports couldn’t be dumped into this world of sports all at once. It started with me being team mom. Then I learned how to keep official score books. Then I learned how to be an assistant coach. Before I realized what had happened, I was training umpires and actually became the head umpire. Good grief – I could recite the Little League Rulebook backwards and forwards! From there, I became a member of the Board of Directors, the league treasurer and ran the concession stand for two solid years.

Simultaneously with his interest in baseball, his love of soccer began to take root. In spite of myself, I learned the rules of soccer. At least they’re easier than baseball! When the time came for him to make a choice in sports, he chose soccer. This time I didn’t wait for him to suck me into it. I joined the Board, became a certified referee and from there the Referee Assignor – equivalent to the head umpire in baseball. I drove entire teams of pre-pubescent boys all over the southeast for games and had them in the same hotel room with me. I slept in front of the door, stood in the rain, fed them enough food to keep a small nation afloat for a year. I drove hundreds of miles and endured thousands of teenage boy pranks. I washed uniforms in sinks, chased down missing boys and cheered til I was hoarse. I spent more money than I had on camps.

There were years of school where he refused to conform. His IQ is off the scale on the high end, but he totally refused to buy into what he saw as an artificial system full of ridiculous rules and standards. I had one teacher send home a request to meet with me. When I asked why, the reason was that she wanted to see “what birthed him”. No wonder he liked that teacher so much!

Never once did I wonder if anything I was doing was worth the trouble.

Now he’s 20. He tried college for one semester and it wasn’t for him right then. But he has a job, a roommate/girlfriend, makes his car payments, and takes care of himself. He coaches a team of 14 year old boys and 17 year old girls. He broadcasts the high school soccer games. He is centered, comfortable in his skin and is starting to form his plans for his next steps in life. He is outspoken (wonder where he got that??) yet easy going. When I lost my job a month ago, it was my boy who pulled me out of the pit. He told me what I meant to him as a person in a voice brimming with emotion. There was no criticism.

We are best friends. I didn’t plan for that, but I am so glad it happened. I am looking forward to the next 20 years of lessons. I still have a lot to learn. The gods surely danced on the day my son was born.