Y2What?

So tell me, 3 days from now, what is going to be so different? The new millennium approaches with a mixture of much fanfare, trepidation and anticipation. When we all wake up on Saturday morning, how will our lives be changed?

Will there be electrical blackouts, interrupted telephone service, long lines at the gas pumps and a shortage of cash, food and supplies? Will airplanes crash, trains jump the tracks and boats get lost at sea? Will our entire society come to a grinding halt, crippled by widespread computer failure? And, if that is the case, will we all wish we had joined a militia and prepared for a return to the vigilante law of the old west? These are the worst of the doom-sayers predictions. Do I believe them? Nah. I think there will be some glitches, but most probably no more than have happened at the turn of any other year. We’ll just hear more about them because everything negative that happens will be blamed on the Y2K bug. Even Bill Clinton may find that he has a ready made excuse for his sometimes less than stellar behavior.

If all the ills of the world can be blamed on Y2K, then why not all that’s right? Instead of predicting (and therefor wishing for) negative consequences as a result of the turning of the year, century, millennium….why not go for the gusto on the positive side? When I wake up on January 1, 2000, I would like to see the following Y2K miracles in place:

The increased energy afloat in the world as a result of us entering the new millennium will have miraculously burned off all excess body weight – everywhere – world wide! No one will every be fat again. (OK – I admit it – this is an entirely selfish wish – but please indulge me since my egotistical wish will have the side effect of making bazillions of other people enormously happy as well)

There will be enormous memory lapses the world over. We’ll forget why we’re angry with others, slights real and imagined, and grudges that have long been nursed. The side effect of this will be an abundance of joy and happiness. Now wouldn’t THAT be tough to live with?

There will be changes in the workplace. Working more than 40 hours a week will become a criminal offense. Upper management will joyfully undergo the most drastic alterations as they spontaneously put in place new frameworks which boost employee morale, return pride to the job sites, and insure that people are equally and fairly compensated for the work they perform.

My dog will quit treating the cats’ litter box as her own personal snack bar. Hey – as long as I’m wishing, I might as well wish BIG!

Schools will take a trip backwards in time and once again focus on education rather than on entertainment, babysitting, social promotion, and an afterthought for athletic programs. Teachers will achieve the rank of respected professional.

Religious zealots will recognize the similarities between their respective religions and place the emphasis there resulting in unprecedented unity and cooperation. This will be headline news.

All homes, be they apartments, houses, trailers or shacks, will be self-cleaning.

Leisure time will be just that – leisure time. The best part is – people will instinctively know how to use it to rejuvenate their minds, bodies and souls.

The new watch-words will be personal responsibility and respect, replacing the time-worn “what’s in it for me?”

There will still be struggles and hard times, for these make us grow. The difference is that we will realize that we already possess all the tools we need to climb our mountains and reach our summits.

There will be a massive party – a real blow-out – with all the neatest people in the world in attendance. The sign over the door will read “Welcome to the Open Diary Millennium Bash”.

That’s my take on Y2K…..and I like it a damn sight better than rioting in the streets, blackouts, and all-out war.