Type 8 Personality

There is a personality typing system – the Riso Enneagram Type Indicator – which my sister has been very interested in lately. I took her interest in this with a grain of salt. Another way to categorize that sort of fits and sort of doesn’t, is what I thought. But my sister is nothing, if not persistent. She kept hammering away at me and I started to listen. Then for my birthday she got me two books: The Wisdom of the Enneagram and Enneagram Transformations. So I started to read.

There are 9 personality types in this system arranged in a star-like pattern in a circle. I cannot do it justice in so little space (and with so little knowledge). I am a Type 8 – The Leader. The short description reads:self-confident, decisive, dominating and combative. Combative? Me? OK – maybe I’ll read a little further – just for the sake of information gathering. There can’t possibly be any value to this system.

What? Eights try to escape from their fear of being in the power of others by maintaining a stance of strength and toughness?

They see themselves as strong and independent?

In an effort to suppress their fear and vulnerability they begin to see all relationships as power struggles and all intimacy as weakness?

They steel themselves against depending on others?

Where does this Riso guy get off???? Gee whiz! Does any of that REALLY sound like me? (hehe – don’t answer – ESPECIALLY you K Pasa!)

Hand-in-hand with this, I have recently been doing some thinking. All of my ‘issues’ lately have been “power” issues. There is my dad, my job, my best friend in Florida, my daughter, Bear, my daughter’s school. At the root of all these issues is power. More specifically, the root of all these issues is the amount of power they exert over me. I have been fighting all of this tooth and nail.

If you follow the line of thinking that we live various lives until we learn the lessons we need, perhaps the big lesson in this lifetime for me is how to deal with power. I am finding this a VERY difficult lesson to learn. I just can’t wrap my arms around it. I am strong and independent. I detest (fear?) being in the power of others. I strive to make myself independent. All intimacy may not be weakness, but I am at my weakest when in the process of becoming or being intimate with another person. I realize this – I realize I need to make adjustments to get to a more healthy place. What I don’t quite see is the path to do this. Go figure.

In the Enneagram Transformations book there is a set of Transformations for each personality type. For 8s it reads:

1. I now release all anger, rage, and violence from my life.

2. I now release dehumanizing myself by violating others in any way.

3. I now release being verbally or physically abusive..

4. I now release believing that taking vengeance will free me from my own pain.

5. I now release hardening my heart against suffering.

6. I now release my fear of ever being vulnerable or weak.

7. I now release believing that I do not need others.

8. I now release believing that I must bully people to get my way.

9. I now release my fear that others will control me.

10. I now release feeling that I must only look after myself.

11. I now release my fear of losing to anyone.

12. I now release feeling that I must never be afraid.

13. I now release attempting to control everything in my life.

14. I now release allowing my pride and ego to ruin my health and relationships.

15. I now release thinking that anyone who does not agree with me is against me.

16. I now release being hard-boiled and denying my need for affection.

17. I now affirm that I believe in people and care about their welfare.

18. I now affirm that I am big-hearted and let others share the glory.

19. I now affirm that I am honorable and therefor worthy of respect.

20. I now affirm that I am most fulfilled by championing others.

21. I now affirm that I have tender feelings and good impulses.

22. I now affirm that I can be gentle without being afraid.

23. I now affirm that I master myself and my own passions.

24. I now affirm that there is an authority greater than me.

25. I now affirm that I love others and ask for their love in return.

That was not so hard to type, but very hard to read and believe. I suppose this is a “fake it til you make it” situation. I don’t know. This hits very close to the mark (but how close I’m not saying!!!) This is where I should sum up and bring this entry to a tidy conclusion. I don’t have one.