Hodgepodge

My life is truly back to being a hodgepodge. The 3 months I spent unemployed my life had a single focus – get a job or die. That sounds a bit dramatic, I know, but that’s truly how I felt. Not that I meant a physical death. It was more a spiritual, intellectual and emotional death that loomed in front of me. Also, because funds were more than a little tight, I had few outlets or diversions. At least, that’s what I told myself as I sat in my frequent periods of inertia.

Now life is back to “normal” for me. I am once again employed and, as a result, my life no longer has a single focus. The job is going to be quite a challenge. I have been hired to do a specific job, to fulfill a need that the company sees that it has. The difficult part about it is that they don’t understand what it is they have hired me to do. Not only do I need to do the “job”, but I need to teach them what that job is. It’s really sort of odd….they know they need “it”, but they don’t know what “it” is. The good part is that it’s a great group of people. They are very talented and very bright and very congenial. There is only one exception to that……but there’s always an exception, isn’t there? Working with him (or around him, if need be) will be one of my biggest challenges, but I gotta believe I can do it.

The job requires much of my time and energy. The drive in and out of downtown also requires a large chunk of time and energy. I think I have hit on a way of making that a bit easier and less stressful. Books on tape. Sitting dead still in a traffic jam is not nearly as unpleasant when I am listening to a story or (my favorite tape) the Gita being read to me.

When I get home it seems very late. I don’t make it in before 7. Then there’s my daughter and all the housework and cooking chores, and work that comes home with me and it’s bedtime before I know it. I don’t have time to e-mail, or read, or call people or make OD entries or write. I have to get at least 7 hours sleep or I am worthless the next day, so there are no all-nighters being pulled around here. I feel like I need to eliminate the need for sleep…..then I could really accomplish something!

I drove to Chattanooga Saturday to watch the soccer team my son coaches compete in the state championship tournament. He invited me, how could I say no? I saw many people from the town I lived in previously, watched a good game and saw my son. I was glad to see that the parents of the boys on the team respect his coaching ability and they nurture him and take care of him as a person. I heard stories of all the options they are encouraging him to explore (school, law, coaching, life) and watched them do the little things – make sure he was fed, had a jacket, a place to stay in Chattanooga. My boy remains OK – he is settled, comfortable with himself and has a knack for drawing people to him. I drove home very late, feeling very good.

Today there was a whole life expo downtown. I went with a friend. We ate our way through the vegetarian food court. I gotta tell you – if I could cook veggie meals like that, I’d never eat meat again! It was all so yummy! I had my aura photographed and was told that I am a deeply spiritual person & have a strong value system in place. I often times use my head to analyze, but more often operate from my heart. People like to be around me, seek me out. I am not a trusting person, whereas the friend that went with me trusts everyone. There was nothing threatening in my aura, so I should be healthy for yet a while. I got my personality typed by color. I came out as a ‘purple’ entertainer with mounds of empathy who is most comfortable in a job situation in which I have complete control. I know when a love affair is over and move on. I got a reading of my capillaries, and they seem to be fairly healthy so I have good blood flow and energy. I found a neat place not too far from here that does meditation work and has classes in A Course in Miracles. I was the most gorgeous man giving massages. I didn’t stop for one because the only thought going through my mind was “Take me, Mandingo warrior!”. Somehow, that seemed an inappropriate thought….go figure. I got a reading from a marvelous man who calls himself an holistic warrior. The reading was less about events coming up in my life than about how to handle events coming up in my life. He talked to me about energy flows, hawks & buzzards, trust and knowledge. He reminded me that I have all the tools and knowledge I need right now. I just need to put those things to work for me. He also told me that I had chosen to be a high priestess many times in previous lives. Do you suppose my children would adapt well to treating their mother as a high priestess? I rather like the idea. As for all that other stuff I was told….well maybe I believe some of it and maybe I don’t – but the idea of being a high priestess is (I must confess) very appealing! hehe

I had a rather long session this afternoon with a former co-worker plotting out strategy for my new job and her current consulting contract. I kept remembering what the holistic warrior had told me about energy flows and thinking of ways to make that happen in the workplace.

Now it’s late, the house is a mess, I have nothing prepared for lunch tomorrow, there is no dinner tonight and I have work to do. I want to go back and re-listen to the tape of my reading today. I want to read some, I want to make lists of things to do. I want to go to sleep. Yes, life is a hodgepodge again and things are back to normal.