It’s raining, it’s pouring!

Hey all…how is everyone? I’m okay I guess…
It’s raining outside right now. Actually it’s more like thundering. I dunno if it is raining or not…it just sounds like it is…or that it’s about to start. But anyway…for those that don’t know, I love the sound of ran or thunder….it just seems to calm me down for some reason. It feels like that it just tries so hard to calm my soul or something…and it works at times. I like the sound….so relaxing…
Today was still depressing. I don’t know why this is going on. I just wish that it would just stop and go away. I think I think that I’m trying to be told something. Maybe God is telling me that I am getting better (because you get worse before you get better, as they say). I hope that is the case…because this is really getting old…especially since hardly anyone comes to talk to me now…not even one of my friends that I know in person who lives in DE is talking to me much lately. My feelings are pushing people away. I don’t want that. I wanna be happy.
I don’t go to the counselor’s office anymore at my school because (no offense to them) they just don’t know what’s going on with me. They haven’t been through what I have been through and yet they expect me to just snap out of it and be fine. Especially my science teacher. She’s cool and I like her, but some of the things she tells me…it’s not helping because she is MOSTLY the one telling me that I just need to forget about it and move on…
…let me tell you people…THAT DOES NOT HELP. You can’t just forget about something. My mom tried that and it ended up biting her in the butt later on so now she gets help for it. It doesn’t help to just “forget about”. You can’t do it. I would rather face it now than to face it in 15 years. I don’t want this to go out that far. So I’m gonna face it now and try to help me…I’m gonna cry it out now so I won’t later.
Well, I’m gonna go. You all mean so much to me. You all take care and may God be with you.
In Loving Spirits,
~Amber~