The Time I Didn’t Manifest My Husband – Law of Unattraction
Welcome to the story of the law of unattraction. It’s the story of the time I didn’t manifest the husband of my dreams. It all began back in the summer of 2019. I was currently in a relationship with a guy I knew I wasn’t going to marry. We were constantly fighting and arguing over the same issue without resolution. On this one particular night we got into a fight about the same issue again. He stormed out in the middle of the night and said he was leaving me. Because I was so tired and over the relationship I simply responded ” Go.” I didn’t yell, I didn’t argue, I didn’t even get up from my sleeping position. I just let him go. Anyway, the relationship officially ended the next morning when he tried to get back with me and I said “No.”.
At this point I was tired of getting my relationships wrong. I decide in my mind that this time, things will be different in my next relationship. This time, in the next relationship of mine it was going to be the very last relationship. I was 100% certain that I was going to attract my husband. I just didn’t know how to do it just yet. So, of course when we’re in doubt we generally tend to turn to youtube and google for the answers to all our troubles and concerns. ” How to Manifest You Husband” was what I typed into google and came across dozens of videos, blogs and articles on how to do exactly what I intended to do.
Alright, game plan. First I had to write a very detailed list outlining the exact qualities of the man of my dreams. I didn’t put too much emphasis on his physical appearance but I had listed the qualities I really wanted to see in this guy. I had a list with about 50 items. The next thing I needed to do was believe that this was going to happen and trust me when I say, I definitely was 100% convinced that this was going to happen. After that I was supposed to be patient and just go about my day doing things I like, going to places he might be and just enjoying myself. But I thought I would take matters into my own hands and speed things up a little bit. I mean, whats the harm right? So, I didn’t know much about where to find this guy or how he was going to turn up into my life. I just had the strong belief that I was going to find him so I signed up for this dating app which I will not name here because this isn’t their fault. I was swiping, liking and talking and just looking around when I came across this strong, tall, dark, handsome, successful chocolate bar looking guy. Yummy! I was like “YAAASSSS Hunny God has delivered!”. So I was super excited when he also liked me back and we started talking. There was one big red flag I knew I shouldn’t have ignored but decided to anyway. It was when he asked what it was I was looking for on this site and I told him that I was looking for friendship and if that goes well hopefully relationship, engagement then marriage. When I asked what he was looking for he said he was looking for some fun. He asked ” is it okay if we want two different things?”. I responded ” I don’t know how this is going to work if we aren’t in alignment”. He was like “Okay, let’s just meet up and see what happens”. I hesitated a little bit but I agreed to meet up anyway.
The day of the meet up
It’s the middle of summer and this day was pretty hot. I didn’t want to be showing any skin because I wanted him to take me seriously. Crazy me I was dressed in an all black outfit. I work black jeans and believe it not a black turtle neck with gold slippers. The restaurant we agreed to meet at was 30 minutes away from my house. On the drive there, I was listening to Beyonce Irreplaceable and I was singing on the top of my lungs the lyrics ” You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me, I can have another you in a minute matter fact he’ll be here in 30 minutes BABY!”. I was in very high spirits and so happy to be alive no one and nothing could ruin my day. I get to the restaurant 30 minutes later. I pull into my parking space and click my car keypad to lock my doors. I was full of joy, optimism and smiles as I made my way to the restaurant walking with a head held high, straight posture and full of cheerfulness. ” Hi, for one?” The waitress in front of the restaurant asked me. I smiled ” Nope, for two, he’ll be here any moment”. She walked me to my seat, I sat down and glanced at the menu when I heard the front door of the restaurant open. It was a pretty dark restaurant and because it was the middle of the day when the door opened, the light flooded into the the restaurant and his tall, handsome, strong, body blocked some of the light creating a silhouette appearance. The image created was as though he was set from heaven and I just kept thinking to myself ” GOD HAS DELIVERED!”. We order our desserts and started to get to know each other. I felt an immediate connection it was as if we had known each other forever. Everything was going in a positive direction and the more we got to know each other the more he was checking off all the items on the list I had created earlier. It was magical. From that day things started progressing at lightning speed. We were talking on the phone everyday twice a day and seeing each other pretty much everyday day. We were spending a lot of time together and I didn’t, not for one second get bored of him.
Three Months Later
After about two months of going at lightning speed things started to slow down and the rosy glasses we were wearing started to show us in a clearer light. Welcome to what I now know as the power struggle. Because we were speeding through we hit the power struggle pretty fast and hard, most couples hit the power struggle anywhere from two months to two years. I personally wish we could have hit it at the two year mark instead. Anyway, he was starting to pull away, which led to my anxiety and panic and I started to crowd his space more as he pulled away more. This resulted in a turn of events where I became the one chasing him and he became the one running away, when it should have been the other way around. I mean, the man is supposed to chase the woman right? I was obsessed with this relationship that I started falling behind in work. I started falling behind in my business. All I thought about was how can I make this work because I felt like I was losing him. He would make comments like ” There is so much Pressure”, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, ” I need more time” , ” Things are going so fast” etc. etc. I would be like, ” How can I alleviate the pressure, what will make you feel ready for a relationship, how much time do you need?”. I remember there was this one time towards the end of our “relationship” (which technically wasn’t a relationship but I’m still going to refer to it as one because in my mind we were in a relationship). Anyway, towards the end of our relationship there was a time when I gave him an ultimatum. It when something like this ” Alright, I really like you and I want to be in a relationship with you. I can tell that you seem to be a little be confused as to what you want so this is what we are going to do. We’re going to stop talking for one week, at the end of the week I want you to tell me what you want to do” I saw panic in his eyes. He said, ” One week isn’t enough time, this is so much pressure”. ” Okay” I said ” how much time do you need, just tell me.” and he exclaimed ” I don’t know!” I was like ” Do you have you glasses on, like can you see clearly with these glasses that you have on?” with a confused expression on his face he was like ” Yes, I can see just fine” a little offended by my remark. I responded ” How can you not see my value, how can you not see who I am, how could you not want to be in a relationship with me. It just didn’t make any sense. Am I missing something, is there something wrong or something I’m not seeing here?”. All he said was ” I wish you could understand, you’re making this so hard”. He was right about one thing I just didn’t understand. So, we weren’t really talking for like two days but obviously we slipped back into old habits and started talking everyday again, things weren’t progressing and he was pulling away more and more. It just felt like things were going downhill and I was getting discouraged and frustrated.
Let’s fast forward a bit. It’s a Tuesday and I’m on a trip to go somewhere and my phone rings from a number I don’t know. I answer the call and it turns out to be a woman and she claims she is his girlfriend of three years…. Remember that level of excitement I felt at the beginning of this story. The exact opposite feeling of that level of excitement was what I was feeling right now. Complete disappointment. I was shocked I was literally in disbelief. I literally did not believe a word of what she was saying. After that conversation I thought to myself, I wrote a list, I prayed and I searched and I found my husband. This girl needs to disappear because she’s ruining my manifestation. She said all sort of stuff, they were moving in together, traveling places together, meeting family etc. etc. I could careless about what she saying because all I could think about was my manifestation I mean this stuff works. It’s worked for so many people. I did the steps, it needs to work for me too. How could it not work for me? It’s like baking a cake, I followed the instructions I added the same ingredients how could the cake not turn into a cake like it just doesn’t make sense. That was my level of faith, that was my level of belief that this man that I met was my husband. We were in a rough patch at that time. At this point I was seriously having doubts so I told her we were friends when I probably should have said that he is my husband… disappear girl bye. I asked him if he had a girlfriend be he said “NO, that woman is not my girlfriend!”.But if he was really my husband he wouldn’t have left me, he wouldn’t have rejected the idea of a relationship with me. He wouldn’t have said, I think you should see someone else. He wouldn’t have delayed the process and said he needed more time. He wouldn’t have even said that he wanted to have fun in the first place. He said other things to at the beginning. Like yea, I want you to have my babies and be the mother of my children. He helped me all the time and would say things that made me believe he was having a change in heart. Why would he introduce me to all his friends, have me over at his house and bring me to his friends events if he didn’t have any plans for a future together. It’s all a big confusing weird mess.
After that day, when the other woman called and word got back around to him. He blocked me, he deleted me. I was in such denial honestly even after all that happened I still believed that he was met to be my husband. After three months of cry every single day as the days passed and it became more and more apparent that things were over between us. I started to see things clearly and truly for what they really were. I was so disappointed. I was disappointed in him for not leaving me alone when he knew exactly what I wanted and what he was doing this whole time. But most of all I was disappointed in myself. I ignored the biggest and most important red flag of them all. If a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship just leave at that honestly. I was very convincing to myself. I knew this was wrong but you know what I told myself. I said, why is it that when two people desire something. For example in this exact case illustrated above. I desired to be in a long term relationship which would lead to marriage. He desired to have uncommitted fun. Why is it that, when a guy doesn’t want a relationship that is always the outcome. The guy not wanting the relationship instead of the outcome of the girl getting the relationship. On the days that we were getting closer, the honeymoon phase he said that he didn’t think he wanted to have just fun with me he said he saw more. But maybe that was a lie, or was it the rosy glasses that made him second guess himself for a moment. I really don’t know.
Anyway, that is the story of how I didn’t manifest my husband. When I read that story it sounds quiet ridiculous and crazy the way I was acting. I was pretty desperate. But now, I thank God for the calm that has washed over me. I’m complete happy with my current relationship status, single. It took me a while but I know realise the danger in looking outward for a relationship to complete you. When you feel like you need to have a relationship or you will be incomplete without one that is very, very dangerous position to be in. You cannot rely on someone else or something for your happiness. I seriously lost myself in this situation and literally drove myself crazy trying to make things work out when it clearly wasn’t. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just let go and leave it in the hands of God. I don’t know if this story made you lose faith and I really hope it didn’t. I know at that time, when things ended between me and the guy (I literally thought was going to be my husband) my faith was seriously tested. It wasn’t necessarily the whole situation that was what hurt me. I felt confused because I didn’t know what to believe in anymore. I started to feel unsure and insecure where confidence used lie. I started second guessing everything. The truth is, I’m super optimistic and it’s a strength and a downfall because even now I know that my Husband will come. Maybe I had an error in judgement, I saw fool gold and thought it was real gold. That doesn’t mean real gold doesn’t exist. That doesn’t mean just because I made a mistake that I must give up and live in that mistake forever. My manifestation is still on it’s way. We just took a detour and it was quiet the bumpy detour. I had a deflated tire and my car got really roughed up along the way but like a phoenix I always arise from the ashes stronger and more resistant than before. The one thing that I pray for now is that this lessons will be so deeply engraved in the very fibres of my skeletal muscles and when my real husband comes along we will take things slowly and things will be much easier.