Nostalgia

There are so many stories I trace in my mind

each ending linked to the next beginning

forced meanings and obscured desires

I don’t even remember what I initially needed

love, home, family, is there anything more?

every day I am missing more pieces

my tenuous connections crumbling away,

or simply forgotten

I once believed I was a a beautiful person

I think there was a time that… it did not hurt

to look at old photographs and

smell perfume without breathing in nostalgia

I think of that summer every day

it’s not something that can be helped,

I don’t have the power to turn my attention away

New questions always seem to have old answers

but buried there,

beneath the separation loneliness

I guard that bubble that formed in my heart

and it is worth the pain,

the days spent missing the words I didn’t say

just so I can have that summer,

always holding my hand, so I am safe…

as I try to link together all that came after