12/03/2011

I am so sad lately. I haven’t worked out in like two weeks. I have been through so much crap over the last few weeks I don’t even want to get out of bed. I haven’t even felt like writing on here about the shit that has happened because it seems like I just allow history to keep repeating and I am as tired of writing about it as I am sure the people who do bother to read my diary are of reading about it. Hell I even started this diary to have a way to get my feelings out without worrying about what anyone thought and I still find myself not writing because of what people reading may think. I am pathetic. Other than my husband I now have zero friends, I try to tell myself it is no great loss because even though I cared about them they obviously didn’t feel the same about me. However, that just makes me feel so much worse. I just want to spend all day in the bed with the blanket over my head and cry. I didn’t realize I had this many tears. I am so done with everything. I don’t know how to get out of it. I don’t know how to feel better. I don’t know what I am going to do.