Setting some goals

I think I like having my therapist appointment every 2 weeks. I think it gives me a chance to mull over everything we talked about, stuff that comes up, a chance to do some work. And yes, even though yesterday’s was our second meeting, I was able to really get some deep thoughts into what we had talked about in our first meeting

Much to everyone’s surprise, I am not really a people person. I find myself really drained by having to be around people all the time, having to put up this mask to be ‘approachable’ and ‘accommodating’. Yes, I am in a job where I am people focused, and I love my job. I think that I need some time away from the constant people contact.  And my therapist and I talked about ways to get some space, allow me to be myself, and not wear this mask of someone who enjoys the constant being on all the time

It’s a very weird thing, loving helping people, but not wanting to actually deal with them.

A trigger for me: people who don’t pull their weight, or slackers.  I find that I am the most irritated by those sorts. I also give a lot of rent-free space in my head for people who do stupid things, like my roommate or the idiots that I work with in Facilities (using the term ‘work’ lightly since they don’t really do anything) when I shouldn’t care about what they do or how they live their life.  That’s something I really want to focus on in the next two weeks.  Why that bothers me so much, why is that a trigger?

So, some goals that we are going to work on are:

How to deal with my parents and my brother
Dealing with people/dropping the mask
Getting through some of the trauma I have experienced over the years, that I haven’t dealt with
Body acceptance

It’s important to continue to do my self-compassion meditation. I cannot continue to assist others and not give myself the same compassion that I so freely give to others