Just Words?

He rang me. We talked. About general stuff. About my day. About Louis possibly moving back to Cairns.

And then I told him that I’d missed him but that since Saturday night (when I locked my keys in the car) I hadn’t missed him at all.

"I see" he said.

I told him that he was not supportive; that I don’t know what else to do or say to try and get companship and friendship out of him; that he uses swearing a lot lately and that we’ve never spoken to each other like that, that I don’t deserve it; that we can be mates but if we’re gonna be husband & wife we better start acting like it. I tell him that I’m tired of feeling lonely.

He said he thought everything was going well; that we’d spent a few couple weeks before my trip without fighting; that he wasn’t angry AT ME regarding the locking of the keys, rather at the situation; that he is sorry for swearing so much and that he hasn’t meant to come across as angry in his texts either; that I’m the one that starts many of our fights.

I am at a complete loss then, and decide to end the call because Dad’s rocked up.

I text him a few moments later saying "I’m sorry about the sad phone call. Good luck with your assignment".

He texts back saying "I’m sorry about coming across as angry in my texts. I love you. You’re the only one I want to be with".

And those words are the magic words.

WHYYYY can’t I let go ?? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ????

Why can he just … do that ?

I am completely and utterly HELPLESS when it comes to him.

If only he knew his power.

And maybe he does…?

Nothing matters as long as he keeps telling me that I am GOLD to him.

My ex-lover Lee also used words to make me feel sexy and adored. I loved it. I thrived on it.

Liquid Candy – You made me feel so damn sexy – Words were all it was – But it sounded good, didn’t it (C) Diosa