Please.

I feel dead. Not awake. Can’t wake up.

Plastic. Zombie. Rubber. Numb.

Not alive. Deadened. Unresponsive. Trapped.

People don’t conceive what I mean.

I can’t wake up. I don’t feel alive.

I do not like living this way. I want to wake up. But it’s gone.

Others feel this alive-ness, -if not that, then at least a sense of normally being awake. But I can’t.

Oh fuck me for thinking only of me. If ever I complain people tell me, "and you think others don’t feel that way?"

Well I don’t the fuck know, do I?. I would imagine if they felt dead, like plastic, they might fucking mention it once in a fucking while, at least to SOMEONE. So that word eventually got around, amongst people generally, that it was a common feeling.

I don’t hear, or see it ,as being a COMMON feeling.

Oh shut the fuck up, Elizabeth. You whine all the time.

Well yes I fucking do, because I don’t fucking feel awake. How would you fucking like it, if YOU felt that way?

You’re not the only one who feels lost Elizabeth.

God, I’m sorry. I should shut the fuck up. I’m a stupid git who shouldn’t even verbalise what I’m fucking feeling.

Fuck me. And I am fucking sick of food. I don’t care for it anymore. It bores me. I only eat bits of it so I don’t fall over. But I don’t give a fucking damn about it. Food is tiresome and a bother. And I don’t care for it.

elle est laide

June 13, 2006

(((hugs)))

To Read Others.

it makes complete sense to me…that feeling, i mean. don’t ever stop getting things out in words, even if they don’t feel “right”. they are. xoxo *~

*gives you a hug* It makes sense to me as well (I’ve felt like that lately). *hugs again* You’re in my thoughts.

Leave_me_alone

*hugz*

Sophia with some words

I hope no one here has ever told you you don’t have the right to “complain”. I don’t think it’s a common feeling…and I can only try to imagine how it must feel. I really hope you’ll try to fight this!

Science & Fire

You need some St. John’s Wort.

soliloquy girl

It makes sense to me too sweetie – that feeling. And I would rather see you get mad, like in this entry than bottle up all these emotions like a zombie. You are one of the most selfless people I know, but you are going through a bit of a crisis right now – you are allowed to think of yourself. You have lost hope Elizabeth. I wish I could help you find it, but I think this something that only you

can do for yourself. Thinking about it some more, I highly reccommend medication – it might just make you fee a littl more human. Until then – try and force that emotion. Sometimes when I just feel *nothing* pretending to feel is the only thing I can do, and sometimes when I pretend hard enough I forget that I’m only pretending. I’m right here for you.