Trying to find the here and now*

So I tried to take some photos in our new house, of me. I haven’t taken photos of myself in months. Every photo around the house that has me in it right now is upsetting me so much. I can’t stand to look at how I look in them. So I thought maybe some new photos might help.

Here are 3 of them. They look okay I guess. You can see the stain-glassed windows in the background of my teaching room, and the mottled glass on our dual opening doors. I am also posing with ALF. I love that lovable alien.

I am trying to work on some solutions to make me less overwhelmed and more grounded. At least the photos show me who I am NOW. Looking at old photos is just confusing me. I am HERE, now, in this HOUSE. Sigh, I dunno.

I will let you know if I have any epiphanies.

Excuse the funny face. But you can see how the house is full of character. I love it.

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I need some help. My relationship is disintegrating.We are at such odds despite wanting to help one another. Today is my one year anniversary with Damien. And things are very grave. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. I feel like I need ito go in-patient. But there is no way that can happen. I need time out. I am not coping.