Not getting stuck in the middle

My daughter and her boyfriend have had a very complicated history together. They met around this time of year in 2016 and moved in together in the summer of 2017. They broke up briefly and he moved out but they are back together living together again

Not to go into too many details, but he’s had a rough go of it during the time they have been together. Near fatal motorcycle accident earlier in the year they met, leaving him with a lot of issues around traumatic brain injury, etc.; his father passing away, an MC brother passing away from suspicious circumstances, both baby mama issues (yes, two of them)

Not going to say that it’s 100% his fault, because my daughter can be a real handful. I’ve often told her, just chill out, don’t be “you” for once and smother him or nag him. She laughs when I say that because she recognizes that she’s got her own issues to deal with

Saturday they went out for their anniversary dinner, and I got a text from her that she wanted to stay at my place and that something was really wrong and up with her boyfriend. I said sure and we talked for a bit. He’s clearly got issues with events and holidays. They are clearly triggers for him. She went over there to get keys/purse, etc and came back but she ultimately went back there to their place for the night

She said he was clearly on something, whether it was pain killers (which he used to take by the handful and has since stopped), alcohol, or something and was completely acting like he wasn’t himself. He then said she was at fault for all their problems, she could stay at her mom’s and that she had to move out at the end of the month.  She seemed oddly calm about it all, especially odd since she said he drove like a person possessed on the way home from dinner

The next day she said that he swore on his mom and his son that he didn’t take anything, that someone must of slipped him something. Why she believes him makes me really concerned about her and her judgement. Things don’t add up. He even said he had one beer at his mom’s but maybe something was in the glass that made him not himself.  Ok that’s some serious bullshit

I told her that his responses to her while in that state meant that he felt that way about her to some extent when he’s sober. I suggested they both go to counseling, both individual and couples

I get a text this morning from her with a screen shot of my comments about him to her and she said, oh that was  meant for him. Mind you, I have to be very careful on what I say to her because she immediately goes to him and tells him.

He immediately texts me and asks if we can get together to talk. We made plans and then I sent a text to one of my best friends and he thinks I shouldn’t get involved

I want her to be happy but I am seriously concerned about her safety, both mental and physical. I don’t want to be in the position of being in the middle of their situation