Diahrea of the mouth

     After I wrote last nights entry I realized I sounded pretty dramatic..lol I always just write what comes to mind at that moment and I don’t really take the time to rationalize it and sound the least bit mature. But if i can’t just spit it out here then there’s no place for me to spit it out huh?

    I think I am just generally hard to please. My job kinda ticked me off. So monday is Memorial day right? So yay for the first time EVER…Hanna gets holiday pay…woohoo…she can use it. So I get my schedule and they have me at 31 hours….ummm Excuse me, I’m FULL time..so that garuntees me 32+ hours a week….(I’d kill for 40) ….So I tell my boss that I don’t understand why I am getting less hours, than the two people they have just hired back at part time and who are getting 34 and 38 hours next week. I am like I could really use the extra hours and you gave them to two other people who aren’t even full time. So they says well, the 8 hours holiday pay will make up for the lost hours…Uhh..HELLO …holiday pay is a benefit, not a subsitute for lost hours. Soo..they him-hawed about it and refused to give in to my logic and I refused to accept theirs..so right now they’re kind of mad at me. If this becomes a trend there will be problems..lol…I don’t like it…but I am not sure a couple of the managers really like me…and I keep thinking I am overqualified to JUST be a desk clerk…and maybe I act like that…..like I know too damn much..and maybe thats why I get the feeling they’re not fond of me…Its ok though, I am not here to make friends, just a paycheck. I do a good job and I know my customers love me…all the reviews say so =)  (I used the word "so" way too many times in this paragraph, I’m sorry for the regression in vocabulary usage…I am an educated college student..lol)

       I also realize  that when talking to Frank or anyone else I always seem to draw the conversation back to me..and I feel like a dumbass when I do it, but I can’t seem to stop myself from it. What causes that? I wouldn’t say selfishness persay….and I wouldn’t say a superiority complex…or whats that term when you put yourself..oh GRANDEUR…personality complex…I don’t think any of those fit….but like I see other people do it…and it irritates the hell out of me when it’s always about them them them….and maybe its because for so long I just allowed it to be that way…just about that other person….I know with my EX..I was always his rock, with my friends, the same thing..so maybe it’s a way of venting, lashing out, telling my story? Bah, who knows. All I know is that I hear myself doing it and inside my head I am telling myself to shut the hell up but the direah keeps flowing out of my mouth..lol.

I’m gunna muzzle it right now…and get back to work while the rest of the world sleeps.