Finality

Today is the first day in a long time I have actually felt a sense, a true sense, of peace, happiness, and freedom. It was a long time in coming and I have no regrets about the choice I have made or the path I have taken, even if it does get a little bumpy for me.

Things at work weren’t getting better. I think I wrote in here how Ish and his wife Damina were accusing me of adjusting figures (money) in the computer. They even brought in Lee and took her into my office and sat her behind my desk and had her check every single report since I started. Of course since I wasn’t doing anything wrong, she couldn’t find anything amiss in the paper work. Dumbasses. I couldn’t believe that they would believe I would do such a thing, after all the years and dedication I have given to that company. It pained me, made me feel lower than dirt.

Then I found out that they offered Lee her old job back with her pay, plus they’d pay her rent and utility if she’d just say yes to being the manager again. Of course Lee said no, but if she had chosen to say yes, I would be out of a job before I had a chance to open my mouth and gape.

On top of that, he denied me my raise on August 14th when I was due for one, we got into a huge fight last week because he shows favortisim to a couple of other employees and doesn’t keep his word to the rest of us. I got to the point where I just stopped talking to him instead, I’d only ask questions when I absolutely had to, and only replied to his questions, but even then I was curt. His wife called me into the office and said if I didn’t get rid of my attitude, (this was Tuesday) then I would be fired. She then asked me what my problem was and when I tried to tell her, she threw her hands up i my face and said she didn’t want to hear it. To make up my mind by "tomorrow", being Wednesday.

So Wednesday comes around and after I have lunch with the head house keeper, Debbie, Damina tells me Ish wants to talk to me in the office, so In I go and shut the door. The conversation was pretty much my telling him I wasn’t happy to work for him anymore. He said if that is the case then I don’t need to work for him and it is time to move on somplace else. He doesn’t want some one working for him who doesn’t want to be around him. I agreed and we decided Friday would be my last day of work, and then I left the office. The whole conversation probably took about sixty seconds.

Thursday we didn’t talk at all. Friday they called me into the office and tried to get me to stay, saying how they never thought ill of me and only loved me and even if I go they wont think bad of me, or say bad things about me. I basically said things wouldn’t change, I know they wouldn’t change and it would be best if I kept to our agreement and found employment elsewhere.

I said that he never keeps to his word and that he makes promises and never keeps them, with me and with all the other employees and that I can’t respect a man who doesn’t keep his word. I said when he tells me to do things with employees, like if it’s a dicsiplinary action, I do it, and when they confront him he doesn’t back me up, so I basically have no authority. He doesn’t give me the free reign he gave Lee, and he’s so worried about my age interfering with my job but he won’t let me prove how mature I am, so my age will always stand in the way.

I think they realized how messed up they made things, and how messed up things would be when I left because they know absolutely nothing about the front desk or the paper work part of the office. I took care of everything and made sure everything ran perfectly smooth. When problems happened,  I fixed it, when phone calls came three or four times in the middle of the night, I was the one the desk clerks called to take care of it. I was the one who lost sleep so that their motel ran efficiently.

So yesterday was my last full day at that motel. I wont miss having to put my life on hold, scared that the next shift wont show up, I won’t have to worry if Ish is going to come in and yell at me that day or not, or if his wife was going to come in and accuse me of adjusting money in the computer, or of being accused of running their motel into the ground. They denied all of these things, but I stuck to my guns. At 4:00 I walked out of those doors and felt the freest feeling I’ve ever felt. For the past couple of months I have not been able to sleep, my nerves were so out of wack I was constantly on the verge of throwing up, I couldn’t get rid of migranes or anything. I felt that now it was affecting my health, and it was time to leave.

I don’t have any regrets. I wont miss the motel. I grew to hate it so much, I fell out of my job and it became a prison, my guilt for being their most dependable employee kept me there, and it shouldn’t have. I am really happy.  I know I will be able to find another job, I am not worried. With my skills it shouldn’t take me any time. I already have a couple of really good prospects. A radio station I used to work for before the motel, they’re needing a sales person, which I can do it, I’ve done it before, and the hotel chain my mom works for, which is an awesome hotel with AWESOME pay and benefits are really interested in me, so I have a feeling one of them will pan out for me, if not both.

So there you have it, for the first time in five years, I am no longer employed by the Super 8 Motel.

Ahhhh…….