Mr. Tornado Blow Me Away

Today is such a beautiful day, I hate having to be cooped up in the office. I wish we could move it outside, that would rock! lol. Last night was crazy, I have been back here ten years this up coming November, and other than routine testing a few times a year, I have NEVER heard the sirens going off during an ACTUAL storm. Then was some robotic, woman’s voice going over the loud speaker, and all I could make out were the words tornado, but instead of everyone seeking shelter, they were all standing outside watching the storm! Haha. One of our heavy flat welcom mats went flying down the street, and as I chased after it my shirt nearly flew right over my head. Then some siding to a mobile home was torn off and flying down the street. It hit a wooden fence at the end of our lane and broke into several large pieces.  I wasn’t even scared, it was kind of exciting. I LOVE storms, and my mom kept yelling at me to get into the house where she was, but I didn’t want to. I called the police department and apparently tornados were surrounding us! It was like, twister. Only I didn’t get to see any funnels or anything. Its weird how morbid, destructive,terrifying things facsinate people. Or they do me anyway..ha

So yeah thats MY exciting story. One man did die though. His house rolled and crushed him, and his 12 year old son in ICU. Pretty sad though, a young boy like that to lose his father. Well, its sad to lose a parent at any age really, but 12 years with a dad isn’t enough. They didn’t mention a mom, so I wonder who he will go home to? Breaks my heart.

 There are only five weeks left of school and the teachers seem to be craming a test in all at the same time, the week before finals, so UGH. I feel the stress coming on, lol. Every time I tell myself I am not going to wig out over school, I end up being ten times worse then what I imagined.  I have decided not to take summer classes though. I have been in school since last summer, so I am just going to use this one for a break. I will still have to work, but at least I wont have double the stress on me.

Today on the radio they were talking about people who just get rid of everything they have, or box it up in storage and dissapear from the face of the earth. One of the hosts said it was a selfish act, to just up and leave, without telling anyone or leaving a note or something. One mother called in and had dropped her SEVEN kids off at her parents and just moved to mexico for two years. Apparently she had an awful marriage and a nasty divorce. Another lady got tired of her job and moved to KOREA to work in a hospital there…and I thought it isn’t selfish at all. You know what kind of guts it takes to just say thats it. Im done. ???? So many people stay in dead end jobs, mundane everyday lives, husbands or wives who don’t touch or talk anymore, just because they feel it would be abandonment to even THINK about leaving?  But maybe it makes me selfish because I can see the appeal of just dropping everything and walking away from a life …and just, doing something different, starting something new.  I kind of got offended at the host. I mean understand how she could see it as selfish, but I think in certain cases it could seem more like a doctors orders kind of thing. And everyone has a right to be selfish every once in a while, expecially if you’re the one who always gives everything they have to everything and one in their lives, and you never recieve ya know? I can see how being "selfish" and just up and leaving could be desired.

There are many days I am driving from my town to here where I work, and I often wonder what would happen if I didn’t get off at exit 99, make a right and turn into the motel after another mile. How drastically would my life change if I just hit the cruise control button and took my foot off the gas. If there weren’t bills to pay, and my mom to worry about, or my beloved cat, I would keep going. It is selfish reasons I find myself staying I guess.  I dunno, just the whole radio conversation as been on my mind all day. And I often find myself feeling like I am at the point of liberation..of just saying okay, enough is enough, I am not coming back. I just wonder what it feels like to do it. I think I would laugh, and keep laughing for a long time.

Returning back to reality now though, I have a test every day this week starting tomorrow so I better go crack open a book and get smart or something.