When Shit Hits The Fan

I got a letter today from some one. When I read it the first time, I got defensive and angry and hurt, so when everyone left the meeting, and I was here alone, I sat down and read it again. I found I couldn’t be mad at this person because they were only writing out of concern for said subject . And they also had never done anything to purposely hurt me. I replied rationally I think, and fairly. I hope they can see past their bias and see that. But I know if I were them it would be difficult.

About this journal I want to make clear, to anyone who reads it, or whom I may or may not write about.  I write this journal soley for my peace of mind and sanity. I don’t have any other outlets to express my downs and ups, my fears and joys, or my good times and bad times. I write in here because the only way for my to get out what I need to is to write it. I don’t write for the outside world to read. If no one read my diary I wouldn’t mind. But I just want everyone to know that, I am not in here slandering anyone, or trying to give them a bad rep. Even if I used names this place is pretty anonymous and secret. I don’t have people I know in real life reading this and there-for trying to convince them to form different opinions on anything or anyone.  But none the less this is my outlet. It belongs to me, and I have the right to use OD for such a purpose.

I don’t have anything to hide or lie about. I am not here to make an impression. Even if some one doesn’t agree with what I am feeling, it doesn’t take or change the fact that they are MY feelings. No matter how wrong or distorted you may think they are.  I write for my life, and as things happen in my life I write it, and its honest because its ME. If the truth hurts, then I am terribly sorry, I don’t know what else to say.

I just wanted to make that clear.

Well, today was most definately a day! Sam quit, wrote it in a letter and taped it to Lee’s door. I guess she pretty much said it all in there. I didn’t read it, and she hasn’t called me yet to tell me how it went or what she wrote. Guess I will find out later!!  The meeting at work went pretty well. They just wanted to discuss a few things and mostly rates and revenue. Sheffery showed her true colors towards Lee. She got very hateful and demanding, I am sure because she was confident Ish would back her up. (He didn’t). She then started yelling at Lee in front of everyone about the schedual because she has to work two C’s next week, (which she was hired to do) and I was trying to lighten the mood and give her hope, because I said "well with Sam gone now, everyone’s schedual is jacked up. I am sure when some one else is hired things will go back to normal" and she started in on me because I didn’t have a child and blah blah blah. I was like, "well everyone has to pull their weight around here when some one gets fired or quits so quit complaining." And she hit the fan. Lee told her she was going to work whatever she was put on the schedual for and that was that. She stormed out of here mad. But the whole way she went about it wrong. Instead of pulling Lee aside quietly to discuss maybe a little rearranging she started yelling at her. Which you never do to your boss, even if Lee can be crazy sometimes. But she’s trying to start trouble between other employee’s which isn’t cool. I told Lee I didn’t appreciate her snide comments (Sheffery’s) about me or to me, and I wasn’t going to tolerate it anymore. Lee was so proud that I spoke up for myself, haha. To be honest so was I. I got so angry and the room got hot , or maybe I did, lol, and I just felt this extreme sense of power.

I have come to the conclusion I am just going to work on saying what I feel, or think. Not without thinking about it first, because I hate when people do that, they say things they don’t mean. I’ve had my moments I know. But I have GOT to stand up for myself, because no one else is going to do it for me. If I am going to make it anywhere in this world, I have to push forward with everything I have. 

With that, I am ending this and going to crack my math book open.  Oh ha, I forgot, I get to train the owner’s son! That should be interesting…the whole who’s in charge thing, lol.  He’s nice though, I’ve met him before. Extremely smart so I am sure he’ll catch on fast. I think other than the guy I trained to work C shift here, he’s going to be the easiest trainee so far! (Chris caught on SUPER fast. I like him though, he comes in, does his work and goes home, he’s even pleasant. Doesn’t start crap..We need more like him!) Anyway, I am off tomorrow! Woohoo!