My Unconcerned Hero

Wow, I have a night off work! How about that. And where do I spend it? At home but of course. I wish I could go out dancing but we know how those attempts pan out….lol I am not going through that again. And it isn’t like I have anyone else to go with. Kind of depressing really. But I am not going to let it bum me out, I want to use my energy for other things. And being sad because my social life is crap and my local friends are crap isn’t one of the other things. So on to my heading.

I mentioned in my other entry how no one takes me seriously when I get upset or express emotion or some deep feeling that I am going through. Because on the outside I usually keep so much to my self, I rarely let anyone in, so when I do, people, even those close to me, have no idea how to handle me. Frank for example, will become very…..problem solver-ish. LOL. He will talk to me about my problem until he has said what he has to say about the matter and then the conversation is closed, and he really never responds to.,…my expressive side. When I bare a little of myself to him. He just moves on to something else, and it hurts. Its like he doesn’t care. He’s totally unconcerned. 

But I know this is not entirely him being a jerk. We are two very different types of people. I am very…playful, dramatic, emotional, out-going, (compared to him). He’s very stand off ish…not approachable at all. He doesn’t know HOW to handle me. So rather then handle me, he avoids the "me" all together. And I guess that would be bad, if he didn’t do other things to make up for it.

So take my situation with Rachel for example. The friend I have been writing about in the past previous entries. She logs on, and he decides it is time to have a talk with her, about why she isn’t being the best of a friend to me. And what she needs to do to make things better between us. He meddles. In fact, he does this every time I am hurt by some one he is able to contact. Which is funny, because at the time  I am hurting the most, he’s around but unreachable you know? So when I am not around he tries to play hero to make things all better for me. Its his way of showing how he cares for me. It was annoying in the begining, I felt like he was intruding on my problems, because I just wanted a shoulder to cry on, not help. Not a Mr. Fix It. But I think after time goes by, and he sees my hurt is still there, it weighs on him, and he knows how much Rachel means to me, and how much it upsets me that we have pretty much lost our friendship…and its like he wants to make it all better for his girl.

Needless to say his meddling has become nothing short of enduring. So when he’s being type A personality when my type B is all over the map, I should learn not to be hurt, because its not that he doesn’t care. Guys are born with the gene to solve problems instead of brood over them, (for the most part) unlike females who want to sit, analyze and talk things through you know? So instead of saying things I think I need hear right then, he says things I actually would want to take into consideration when I am past the explosive feeling. If that makes any sense.

BTW, he got his plane tickets today. So the countdown to  Jan 9th begins! : 23!!! Days!!!!