While the World Sleeps..Here I Sit
So the night auditor decided to call in sick tonight. Meaning guess who gets to pull a 16 hour shift!!! Yes..you would be correct..it would be me! Of course, why not? I’m the dependable one right?? Bah…I get the OT and she loses pay. Hope she doesn’t ask for my hours this weekend coz NOPE. When I had my little Christmas crisis she wouldn’t come to work for 3 hours until the boss got here…I am not doin her any favors. If I didnt mean the boss coming in to work after working all day I would have said no to the double shift…But she didn’t do anything wrong and I didn’t wanna put her in a bad situation. Funny how the other night auditor manages not to answer like 3 phones!! Yeah she left a long memo about that…But I am good..I called her back..and said SURE…I’ll work from 3pm to 7am…on very little sleep..I have nothing else better to do boss!! lol…At least she is letting me come in tomorrow at 5 instead of 3…so I’ll be able to get like 6 or 7 hours of sleep before having to come back. Well..just 6 after counting…
Frank leaves to go back to Oxford on Sat. or Sunday….which means he’ll be an entire ocean away again. Busy with school and friends….and I am busy with nothing..because the freakin school here SUCKS. They keep sending more and more papers to fill out. Why can’t they just send them all at once???? GRRRRRRRRRR They want people like me to fail…they want to discourage me..well guess what…its working…lol…Thanks to them dragging their feet now I get to go to school during the sumemr while everyone else is vacationing!!! NOT COOL. I am so jealous of him..he doesn’t have to worry where his college funds are going to come from..his next meal..his house payment..a car payment…(well he doesn’t drive but…still)…it’s all being provided for him. Why can’t I have a little help like that? Why couldn’t my mom be smart enough to start a college fund for me when I was born. A penny a day goes a long way….instead the bills are in my name because she ruined her credit and her smoking habbit is more important. Yes. I am bitter. But I am also very very tired..of stressing…of wondering if I am ever going to make it out of here alive.
Its like this place is quick sand..my feet are in…and if I don’t get out soon it’s going to be up to my knees..and it’s gunna take so much more work to get out of it…this place is sucking me into its abyss…and I dont’ wanna go…I’m screaming and it doesn’t do any good…because when the quick sand fills your mouth..no one can hear you…feels like soon, it will be too late…if I could just reach the vine dangling a little out of reach..I could grab on and….