To feel

To feel is sometimes the hardest thing to do.
I realise the times I try to walk away, or delude myself to think I’m not feeling.
And I fail to realise that the exact opposite is what is true.
I feel only all too well.
I feel only far too much.

I feel intensely.

Without feeling everything intensely, what is there?
How do I love and deal with loss?
How do I lose, and deal with loving again?

I realise I need to continue the intensity of my life as it always has been.
I can’t stop feeling over you.
And I can’t stop feeling what I feel…but I can start looking beyond the immediate feeling, and move on to the next.

I know you’re not the right thing to do in my life.
By no means do I care that deeply for you, I hardly know you.
But I do feel intensely for you.  What that feeling is, I do not know.
I know I keep looking for the next e-mail or waiting for the next text message.

But I know it’s not going to come.
I know that that is exactly what I need.
I asked to be offended, to make this easier.
I realise walking away is never easy.
But now I have reason to do so.
And not feel guilty.

Funnily enough, I feel a slight twang of sadness, but moreso than that, I feel relief.
I want to wake up tomorrow and just go back to feeling.

Whatever the intense feeling, I’ll cope with it.

Feel intensely, and deal softly.