Still ranting!!

So I’m trying to figure out whether I am going through a process or not. So many things seem to have happened recently, and I don’t always feel that I am in control. Anyway, I guess change is good for the soul.

I go through thinking that things are simply as they are meant to be, and then I start to think that maybe I’m not where I want to be. Maybe this whole thing is a game and I haven’t figured out what I am meant to do yet. Heck…I most probably won’t.

Why is at times like this it seems that the easiest thing to do is jack it all in and disappear. I’m starting to realise how people can do that…how easy it is.

Is it easier to think about things and come to a solution, or avoid the thinking and the solution altogether? I sometimes wish I didn’t think so much and things all just worked out. But I always think that maybe I haven’t quite done what I should do.

Ahh….jeez…I dunno! My concentration just lapsed when I saw the really cute guy who I will never speak to. And who, within a month I will most probably never see again. Should be a perfect time for me to go and say something, but see, that’s what’s gone. The ‘sod the world and what it thinks’ attitude. Unwillingly, I care too much!