pea soup

how do you appeal to someone when they have already made their mind up about you? about what you’re doing wrong and the way you should change to do right?  When your personal values of right and wrong are so different that it seems impossible to rectify what was misspoken?

I wish I could just start over, with clear mind and heart, without the memory of the hurtful things that were said, and say my piece.  I’m going to attempt that, when I’m ready.  But at this point I’m really struggling to get past those things.  They keep replaying in my mind, coloring my beliefs, and making me feel such an intense desire to defend myself.  To prove the offending parties wrong with facts and figures, petitions signed upholding my good name. 

But I know, somehow, that all that would do no good.  Not for my case, not for their peace of mind, not for anyone.  It’s all just ego.  I’m so trapped in its fog right now that I can’t see two feet in front of me.

So I will take my sister’s good advice for now–wait in silence.  Wait for the calm to return, give some time for breath, and some time for acceptance.  It’s not that easy, I know, but I can at least try.  I’m doing the best I can.