now is one of those times

sometimes i feel so overwhelmed with a sense of beauty and peace and joy that i want nothing more than to share it with someone.  deeply, intimately, mutually.  with all our senses.  i want to hug someone until i feel weak with the love i’ve released.  it’s these times now that have become the few and far between that i miss kevin again.  i felt when i was with him, we both understood that beauty.  i can’t name or really claim any other moments where i was sure of that same breed of mutual understanding.  i don’t want to be with him again, but i desire that level of closeness with another person.  with someone amazing, enlightened, beautiful.  whose eyes i can become lost in.  whose words i can be bathed in.  whose warmth i can be cloaked in.  most times i feel pretty ok as just me.  often even really really good as just me.  happy.  content.  there’s a lot there in the i am that is.  but sometimes i think, how much more can there be in the i am that are?  with two, isn’t it magnified?  even just a little?  maybe not.  but maybe some things are just easier.