everything is alright…

You once told me, “Everything will be alright in the end,
and if it isn’t alright, it’s not the end.” Now those words sound so strange. So
much has changed. I remember our past… I wonder about our future, or lack
there of. I don’t know what to say to you… everything is different now. Why
did you have to say such hurtful things? Why can’t you understand why it
does matter? The fact that you can’t understand why we can’t just start
over is preventing that very thing from taking place. This is so frustrating.
I’m at one of the happiest times in my life– one I thought I would be sharing
with you, but I’m not. Just to think of you at all twists my stomach in knots; I
am torn between missing your friendship, and remembering why I was hurt in the
first place… the things you said. I’m trying so hard to forgive you, but you
make it difficult when you don’t even know why you need to be forgiven. It hurts
that though you miss me, you don’t seem to care that I– the “drama queen”– am
still hurt. You never said you were sorry, and the truth is, I don’t think you
are. You’re sorry that I’m hurting, but you are not sorry for what you said and
did. This is where I think this may be the end, even though everything isn’t
alright. But maybe you’ll prove me wrong…