Good Saturday

Good vibes and good people. Just good conversation. Surya’s in India right now. There’s a 12 hour difference so it’s kind of hard to skype with him because when I’m on he’s not and vice versa. I went to Jenessa’s grad party and mostly talked to Mark there while eating a shitload of food, and I saw Youra there and met this cute girl named Jenna. Afterwards I went to my flute section party lol it was nice to get to know the freshman girls a little better, like Elaine and Kyra. I’m pretty good with Kaytee because we talk everyday when we take the bus home and I know Joanna because I would talk to her during meetings and just joke around all the time. I guess I can’t do that anymore and not give a fuck since I’m section leader this year now :// oh well there are perks to being one.

Moving on! I got to get yearbook signatures from everyone and Ambika’s giving me a page next time we hang out. We had a wonderful talk about countless topics, mostly about her branching out after she finished her senior year and how she’s been busy a lot this summer. I didn’t really get to talk about myself but it’s okay I was happy to listen to her and I can do so next time. She took me to this hidden skate ramp near the creek by her house and it was really nice, especially since it was cloudy and the moon was out. I’m thinking about taking Surya there next time.

I told Brian I liked him before and I think it really boost his confidence so I’m happy for him. He was feeling really down about how he’s liked Sayali for years since he was a freshman I think and he was like nah no girlfriend for me forever alone lol so I told him that people do like him and if he doesn’t believe me i told him that i liked him before at the beginning of sophomore year but it’s good now that cause he said it made his day and he’s glad we’re such good friends now. we’re supposed to hang out this week and when I told Mark about this at the party he got all excited and wanted to hang out with us so he could talk to Brian lol I’ll invite Mark though, I love Markkk!

Dean is probably mad at me because I haven’t talked to him in awhile and he kept calling me to hangout these past 2 weeks because I couldn’t because 1st week I was hanging out with Surya before he left and 2nd week I had to go to Berkeley everyday to babysit Dom at Jazz School. Anyways, I should really make an effort even if I am busy a lot. I will probably hang out with him next week. I will call him tomorrow.

People I should hang out with next week: Dean//Eriel and Miranda(?), Brian//Mark, Ambika//Mina

I wish I could talk to Surya more naturally like when I’m with Dean or Ambika. It’s so fun that way, just random topics. Thing is, he changes topics a lot randomly, and I’m probably overthinking but perhaps he gets annoyed with what I say or it’s random or he doesn’t want to dwell on the subject so he starts a new one to get me off topic. That’s probably his only flaw so far that I’ve noticed. When we talk, him changing the topic or awkward silences can be frustrating. I guess I have to talk to him more then instead and make out less. I sometimes think that I’ve set up myself for disaster with going fast and not getting to that stage yet. Oh well. I believe that you make your own destiny, and I think that we can make this work. I don’t love him. I know that. Only time will tell. We’ll see how this goes, but for now I’m enjoying the moment. Talking has to be my only minor problem. Him changing the topics, not adding onto the topic, or just gossiping about his friends [Benn] most of the time. That’s what can annoy me a bit.

I get annoyed with everyone sooner or later. I learn how to be a friend when I get lonely. I learned a lot about falling in love when I fell out of love.

Anyways, I guess the skate ramp will be the new spot as Surya and I just needed a spot for us to be alone and it was my job to find us a spot while he was away. The only problem is rides. He got his permit already. I need to sign up for a class sometime this summer. I just haven’t had time to since Berkeley but I signed up for my online class for Pre-Calc already thank god. Anyways, I gotta go to bed. But I think that this summer will be the most productive so far. I should probably take more pictures. Okay then I should probably get to sleep

I miss Surya 🙁 We dont have that many pictures together actually. Hm. I guess we’re more downlow than others. I like downlow stuff. I like being secretive. I’m glad I was able to talk to him, even if it was just for a while. It’s worth the wait. I hate waiting, but if it’s for him, I’ll wait. Kk i should reallllly go to bed now. It’s almost 5 in the morning haha

I really want to go back to the spot Ambika showed me. it looked really cool.