buying the t-shirt

Well my loves, This time I am not fat, bitchy, and sick.  I’m pregnant.  Capital UH capital OH.  And I will be chronicalling the events leading up to the purchase of my "ask me about my abortion" t-shirt, no doubt including the actual abortion which is over a week away still.  Booo.  I wanted it sooner for completely fucked up reasons (IE I’ve got a burlesque show coming up and I want to be over any risidual bleeding or boob leakage by then.  Boobleakage.  gawd.)

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  lets go over some important history.  I’ve been off the pill for over a year now because it made me ill.  I’ve never been pregnant before and I thought, maybe I can’t be so our contraceptive methods have range from not having much sex (boooooo), to condoms, to coming on my tits, to absolutely no methods.  This is also part in parcel to my protest that abortions are free here but birth control is expensive.  WTF, Government?  These unorthodox methods were all made possible because both Thai and  believe a fetus is a fetus, and the world doesn’t need any more fetuses blossoming into actual people.  OF course his views are more due to overpopulation and mine are more due to the fact that I think humans need to, in general, not exist anymore for the bennefit of all.  Not making any more humans is the only actual step Im willing to take to contribute to this though.

Anyways,  we got on fine that way for over a year, partially because I’ve nearly lost my sex drive.  I found it in a pair of crotchless panties on his birthday.  Let the fetus begin.

So for two weeks now I’ve felt like utter shit.  My boobs are killing me, I missed my period, and I cried because Thai offered me the last chicken dumpling —but not like he meant it.  Finally I purchased a home test.  I hate first response.  The first pink line showed up and I was like "yeahhhhhhhhh in the clear" and then slowly and faintly another line started showing up.  But it never got as dark as the first.  Apparently thats supposed to happen (if you’re with-fetus that is).

Firstly, I was very glad Thai and I had already talked about abortion a million times.  I can’t imagine what girls go through who have to tell a dude their pregnant if they actually don’t already have a plan.  For that matter how do you do it alone?  I need a ride into another city for my appointment!  I was so scared even with an appointment, a plan, and a trong conviction that it took me all day before I could even make an inappropriate vaccuum cleaner joke to myself.  So now I’m waivering back and forth between my usual dark sense of humour and crying because I’m scared.

But mostly I’m pissed off.  I have two jobs, a burlesque show, and roller derby practice.  When exactly am I supposed to find time for this appointment?  I’ve had to take a day off work though Im still waivering between calling in sick or saying I have a doctor’s appointment.  That lasts all day…hmmmm.  suspicious. 

and also I have to drag my nauseated arse into work every day because I have to take off 1 day in just over a week and I dont want to look like Im fucking off.

Warning to everyone in Canada though, the first clinic I called said the appointment was going to be $70.  Fuck that noise.  We get freebies.  Keep calling clinics til you find one that is free.  Also shadely, the clinic I called that wasn’t free barely asked or told me anything, and the clinic I called that cost nothing gave me tonnes of information and needs me to call and confirm.  They also set up a password for me and a secret code in case they need to call me.  Thats the kind of service your clinic should provide.  Don’t settle for zero-information about a medical procedure.  Thats a bit ridiculous.

So stay tuned to be informed as I go where few women will admit they’ve gone before!

PS sex when you’re already pregnant-worry free!