some fool thing about a broken glass and then smut
Allow me to make some excuses for the possible hailstorm of thoughts that may be included once I start typing. I just got over the flu and I’ve had heroic doses of caffiene today. The only thing slowing down my thoughts is that I’m starving so every now and then my brain goes "take another handful of popcorn and put it in your face".
like just now
I dont think anything really spectacular has been happening lately. All the things I’m involved with that I’ve been writing about lately are marching along. The craft show is going just fine. Today I made a floor plan for our co-ordinators meeting tomorrow. I haven’t had a lot of time to beef up my inventory but that will come. I purchased a shark’s length of panty elastic for $2. Its pink. We’ll see how far I get with it. I’m going to start always using animals references to measure things. Specifically thats a great white shark’s length. Adult male. After all if you’ve seen someone at Fabricland cut fabric and notions, they aren’t specific. Its a rough estimate that allows you a little extra. So saying 10 meters is false. A shark’s length is more accurate. I told you. Lattes and coffee and residual cupboard pills.
and popcorn.
I got accepted into that Burlesque Troupe. So far I’m their only member that goes down to panties and pasties. Probably my fundementalist Christian Upbringing or something. The next nudist person on the bill is a guy. My first show with them is in April. I’ll be doing a parasol tease act. Its one week after my craft show. I’m not even going to notice there is an April I’ll be so busy.
Also on the horizon is Em’s roommate’s party. I’m going to visit her for the weekend at her University apartment. Thai invited himself along as he so innocently-enough always does but fortunately this time there was a reason he couldnt go-someone has to stay behind for our dog. I need some time alone with my best friend for one and for another Thai and I spend too much time together. This is going to be fantastic. The welcome home sex is going to be alarmingly loud. Its not like Im going to do anything wicked while Im away that I dont want him to see. Im probably going to talk about a tonne of shit he doesnt need to hear but thats what girls do. With him being laid off and me only working 3 days a week maximum we see eachother way too fucking much. So its going to be great for us to spend a weekend apart. I feel like we need it so bad that if I had not have thought of the dog thing I would have told him straight out that I need a weekend apart. but I did think of the dog thing and it is 100% true. I just cant wait until he joins me in this stage of "maybe we should be not together all the time". Hes so attentive. Its great, I love him, and when Im with him I enjoy myself. But for that first 5 seconds when he invites himself along when Im going to do something I just want to say "no!". I need to craftily cut it off before it changes from regretting hes coming along for 5 seconds to regretting hes coming along the whole time. We arent there yet though. And for some reason I am suddenly mature enough to not panic, to not think Im feeling like this because I shouldnt be with this person. I know its just because we are together all day almost every day. This is why people come out of retirement early.
He’s really wonderful though. He some how always seems to miss that Im nagging him even when I come back in the room five minutes later and explain to him that I was nagging and Im sorry Im such a cunt. Or maybe he just plays dumb because he likes the sex. Ha! Like tonight for instance after he broke yet another peice of vintage barware (lets see….I havent been counting all along but because he always breaks parts of a full set that has somehow endured since the 1950s as one unit until they meet their maker in our kitchen sink I can figure out his score….10? Probably 10). I didnt lose my temper I just went out and watched HOW he does the dishes. These things never break on me and I am motherfucking clumsy. Firstly he uses like a tablespoon of dish soap. He doesnt measure it out but I would have to say thats how much he uses. Then he loads anything in the sink he feels like. BINGO. So I explained that cups and glasses go in first, you wash em and you move on. The evening’s fractured corpse was a 1950s cocktail glass specially blown to fit into a caddy with a matching ice bucket. Its corpse barely matters since hes broken 4 of its mates. He broke it when he put a stack of plates in the water after it. That is the equivelant of beating a man in his late 50s with a cinder block while he was swimming. Only worse because there is no reason to assume that my glass was half way through its life. Really it could have gone on to exist and serve its purpose for 100 years. And they are amazing cocktail glasses because the bottom is small and 2 ounces of liquor fit in before it gets wider. Do you realize how pleasant that makes mixing a drink? I dont even have the caddy out anymore. Its packed in a box in the closet because it obviously wont balance out with so few glasses in it. I know I sound dramatic but I love vintage dishes. When I first moved out I simply did without certain types of dishes until I located appealling ones at a thrift store. I am a motherfucking old timey hostess! My dishes are my holy relics! When I invite guests over Im kind of just letting people I like borrow my favourite toys.
SIGH and you know what he said when my little instructional about how poor people wash dishes (aka people without a dish washer who dont want to buy new dishes and more dish soap all the time)………he said "Im sorry I broke the glass. You know it makes me feel more like a man that I cant even do dishes properly"
anyone else would have said what you’re thinking right now.
It was a glass, stop being a hosebeast.
………………(thats my beastie. She looks like a gianormous jack russel)…………………………………..Im out of popcorn
So I will leave you with this message form our sponsor:
Are you looking for something to do with that flimsy old computer chair you bought when people were only beginning to understand how chairs we sit in for 8 hours a day effect physical health?
LOOK NO FURTHER
these flimsy office nightmares are only worth $2 at garage sales and they can only be put out for garbage on special days of the year. What will you do?
I HAVE THE SOLUTION
Fuck in them. Its fun and you can do tricks like see how far they move across the floor from thrusting, and practice moving from the chair to the floor without losing f
ull body contact.
Its re-using. And we all know how good re-using is for the environment
SAVE THE RING TAILED LEMUR-KEEP YOUR FUCKING CHAIR!