A tiger on LSD,Martha on Bennies,Me on stage naked

Not too much has happend since I last wrote.  I keep dreaming about tigers.  One night I was working at a soap factory in the jungle.  It wasn’t a spooky dirty factory but like a factory in the trees where everyone wore colourful clothes and was happy.  It had more of a craft-on feel than anything.  Anyways I had to fight a tiger.  It attacked me.  It wasnt much bigger than me.  I odnt recall it hurting and I dont know how we resolved the issue.

Then last night I dreamed i was dropping acid with some people at the mall (Ive never dropped acid but I can tell you I would NOT drop acid at the mall.  Dropping acid is probably the one thing that would make malls shittier than they already are).  And there was a tiger.  It dropped acid too or rather the guy who gave me the acid gave some to the tiger.  This tiger was bigger than the last tiger, but still not HUGE.  And it became playful.  I was pretty scared and I was trapped in a damn photo booth.  But the tiger never hurt me.  Unfortunately I didnt get to trip balls in my dream.

Hopefully Ill get a chance to report on upcoming events soon.  I have a lot on the go right now…just nothing to do tonight.  Friday Thai’s band plays a show, Saturday Im bartending at a gallery fundraiser, Next Saturday I have a photo shoot in which Em, Lambchop, and I are going to restage an old Bettie Page film (I really hope to be the kidnappee), then next Sunday there is an audition for the upcoming burlesque show.  Em and I still have to work on our act for it as she’s too nervous to strike out on her own.  I have lots of good ideas.  She hasnt mentioned having any plans.  So maybe Ill actually get to present one of my ideas.  That would be cool.  I also have to make a shit load of gifts for various bdays and easter that are approaching.  Ive challenged myself to not spend a dime on gifts this year which is sucky.

Tonight I signed up to be a Big Sister.  I was going to wait til I moved out and got settled but apparently theres a process one must go through of some sort.  So I signed up now.  We’ll see.  Im going to be influencing a child again.  Look out world.  I was speaking to one of my coworkers and she was a big sister.  Her Little Sister has since moved on to University without getting pregnant or anything.  Which is the point of the programme as far as Im aware.  I can do that.  Ive never been pregnant.  I dont know exactly how this works though.  I have some concern with us hanging out at my place….what with all the pill queens, drag queens, and drama queens….oh and you know, the communists.  We’re going to hiope for a Marianne-Faithful-naked-with-a-half-eaten-chocolate-bar-in-her-cooch type commune (not physically though sugar in vagina=yeast infection) as opposed to a manson-family type commune.  But either way, no place for a child.  At least not one that isnt legally ours to ruin.  Anyways I do sort of want to hang out with her at mine because I have all my artsy shit and I cant really afford to take her anywhere and entertain her but since I already own every arts and crafts item neccessary to build a martha stewart on Benzedrine-esque empire….Why not?  Maybe I should request an older child.  That way if it goes home after seeing the stripper poles in my living room and figuring out what they are it will be too full of teen angst to tell its dad.

or something.

Why is it so easy for squares to do charity work, but so full of weird censorship challenges when I want to do something good for the world.  Like mentor a kid whose parents dont care about it.  That i think is what bothers me.  No one in this kids family has time for it, but If I make time for it and its parents are offended by the giant-titted viking on my bathroom wall…………..IM a bad person. And you know Id just have my own kids but then Id have to put them in weird programs like this because I wouldnt have time for them.  And then Id have to get all offended when it saw something I didnt agree with at someone else’s house.  And the day I act like that Id have to kill myself.  And thats why I guess Ill just take care of someone else’s kid instead.  Suicide prevention.

Im going to go be ridiculous somewhere else now.

Weird I didnt say anything about Thai really.  hes well.  He’s dreamy.  He’s frustrated that he works a shitty job with long hours.  I also in a weaker momment told him he could move into my place when I move out when really I want to give myself a little bit of time on my own.  Ooops.  Im not worrying about it yet.  Well Im trying not to.  Actually I think I probably just laid a trap that will ensnare our happiness one day, but Im supressing that emotion.  Because Im unhealthy.