What Family Day Means To Me

This Family Day we must remember the reason of the season.  Family Day started when a Mongoose named Maximillian who was bigger than all the other Mongeese killed a Cobra to save his family. 

And thats why every third sunday (second sunday?) in february we challenge our sweet heart at midnight to see who can drink who under the table.  We celebrate family day by staying home from work and school (unless instructed otherwise by our bosses) the next day wearing flannel Pajamas all day.  We drink our asses off starting at 9am or when we wake up.  Merrily we decorate with paper doll chains and photos of our family stuck to the christmas tree we havent taken down yet.  We watch reading rainbow reruns and eat A & W, KFC, or any other life-degrading food chain that uses "family" words to sell their deepfried bullshit to single working moms.  And then we play board games that in the future will be reworked and marketed directly to family day revellers….but we have beaten the game.  We are like the first family to take normal paper and wrap christmas presents in it instead of using christmas paper.  Family Day is over once you have distributed cards to your friends detailling what you want to do to their moms and have said at least 100 your mama jokes.

Happy Family Day!

*In Ontario this year the government introduced family day.  Unless your boss decided you couldnt have it off, yesterday was a holiday for you…but you probably gave up one of your floating holidays for it that you usually took with the rest of your holidays to extend your family’s vacation during a month where it wasnt fucking sleeting, hailing, and shitting ice.  These are the traditions a few drunk people and I came up with while watching some Indie bands in guelph*