yey!

BATB got renewed for another season – twitter is exploding – well it is for all the beasties anyway.  Right now – this is really great news – I mean I have had such a crap week – for once it was nice to have some great news – even if it is just about a tv show – that I happen to love 🙂   

Had just got in from work when my phone started going crazy with notifications  – so I opened a bottle of wine. Haven’t had alchohol for a couple of weeks so sod it – I’m drinking a few glasses tonight. If nothing else it might help me sleep better tonight.  I have a ton of work calls over the weekend due to us having 3 girls off at the same time. something we were told wasn’t allowed to happen again.  It means that I will be starting at 7 am and my last call will mean I’m home around 10 pm.  I do have 3 hours free in the afternoon, but that’s it. I then have to do it all again on sunday – wish me luck!

Yum this wine is very nice!  I’ve had a pig of a week – partly due to pms (sorry if that’s tmi)  and partly cus I’m married to an arsehole – a selfish so and so who thinks of no one but himself.  I sometimes wish I could just walk out for a few days. See how he copes.  I’m sick and tired of being moaned at for things I haven’t done – or things I’ve done, but haven’t been to his liking. He has a caveman mentality at times and it pisses me off so much.

Ok maybe drinking wine and writing here isn’t such a great idea lol.  I get very honest when I’m tipsy – also horny – but that’s sooooo not happening right now.  I have been thinking lots this week.  It’s been that kinda week.  I’ve been a bit down and I always get a emotional and think back to things that maybe I shouldn’t. Friends I miss, things I’d wish I’d done – it’s a whole mess of crap in my head. Tends to come out now and again.  A few years ago – I got very bad, ended up on anti depressants for a while.  I’m hoping not to go down that road again. although sometimes I think ya know – while I was taking them – I felt a lot calmer, happier – I felt I could cope with the stress that I was getting. Maybe they were just helping me float above it all – fuck knows. But with a history of people killing themselves in my family, at the time the dr thought it was the best thing for me.  I have no idea why I’m spilling all this now.  Maybe cus I’ve been thinking morbid thoughts again, no not morbid – just sad. There are people I miss – obvious ones being my dad and nan. but then I miss having my family close, and it doesn’t help that they really don’t seem to care what is going on in my life. I am missing friends that I used to see. With working evenings and weekends – I have no social life – I hardly get time to catch up with friends – and so I’m losing them.  Online friends…wow I have had a lot over the years. some have meant more to me than others. Some just disapear and you are left wondering where they are, were they real even  What are they doing now – and do they ever think of me.  I miss talking online – I used to do that a lot. If you have 1 thing in common – it’s amazing how a friendship can develop – and I don’t want to sound too needy but I enjoyed talking to people online. Anyway – this entry kinda ran away with itself – so I’m gonna finish here.

Love and blessings xxx