the bridge dissappears and i’m standing on air

some days i wish for a loneliness that is completely my own.  he takes my loneliness, takes it and makes it his, makes it a burden we are sharing.  i want to sever my loneliness from his, from him.  it’s so hard to cut, to unravel, to disentangle.  i just want it to go downhill, i want him to fall out of love with me, i want to breathe and relax and shed guilt, shed the shifting longing eyes and let my lips purse, savoring someone else’s kiss. 

i want to have a new beginning.  now and again… i want to see myself in the mirror as my own person, unafraid to hurt, unafraid to break, unafraid to take care of myself first.  sometimes its just the weight of his life on mine that suffocates me.  the weight of his words, it seems worse than it is… and he wants this to be forever.  i’m realizing more every day how wrong he is for me. 

mostly, the view is accurate