fall and break the rules

would you meet me by the water
where the reeds grow up like ladders to the sky?

we can lie around, we can close our eyes and feel the sunshine (shunsine) on our eyelids.  we can bask in natures warmth, or in the heat of each other, so meet me by the water tonight, i’m ready to break all the rules…

* * *

is innocence something we crumble and leave behind us in pieces, cumbs and scraps and shreds….?
are these tears for us, and for you, and for the people, the children we were and always will be on the inside….?

i am smiling through a blurry lense at life.  we spin and we’re out of control, but we are complete masters of our lives (no, no we’re not) where do we get off the ride?  when do we know it all? please take me there, take me to a place where you touch me and we don’t regret it.  take me to a place where trust is in the air, and there is fear in both our eyes, but it’s alright that way.  take me to a place where my soul can be naked.  and i can spin and my skirt will fan out into a giant flower around my legs, and i’ll lose my balance and i’ll fall forever, and i won’t mind, i’ll eat and sleep and dream, and speak, and write, and be a poet, and scream, and learn and teach and love, i’ll love like i haven’t been able to, i’ll be free, god i’ll be free and chainless, and weightless, and white and pure.  and no dirty handjob sex will ever rub up against me rudely.  and no one’s opinion will matter.  and i’ll feel beautiful even if i weigh 800 pounds.  even if i’m not wearing make-up.  even if i shave my head.  even if i am barefoot or untanned or my eyebrows are bushy.  i’ll still be falling, and i’ll wake up softly.  i’ll float where there are no alarm clocks, and there are no mothers and there are no stilletos or rainboots or ugly hats.  there will be no more ugly…..no more ugliness, understand?  and the air that billows against me will be warm like your skin, and when i really wake up it will just be us, and i won’t be nervous.  instead of butterflies in my stomach, i will be a butterfly, and i’ll perch on your fingertip bleeding blue.  bleeding blue all over you.  all over something that refuses to fall into place, which is why the lense is blurry, nothing feels right, but it feels good not to be perfect.

it feels good to move forward.