Hello Again

Oh man. It’s been about a year now. lol Christmas was super awesome! Although I feel like a dick because Paul got me super awesome presents and I don’t have a job which means I don’t make money, which means I couldn’t get him anything. 🙁 I did tell him that he has 12 wishes he can use though. I was suppose to rub his back last night as one of his wishes but I ended up having reproductive issues that hurt like a bitch so I decided to go to bed. I would do it tonight but it’s already almost 3 am and Pauls friend Sam is over. They don’t get to hang out too often so I’ll let them play 🙂

On another note, my life is pretty good right now. Paul takes care of me and the two boys by working and dealing with stupid people all day long. He also makes me happier then I’ve ever been with anyone. I can just talk to him. Most of the time it’s just us being silly together but I mean, if I ever need to vent; he actually listens and talks back. lol Even if it’s a night that he’s too tired to talk back I know he still cares that I’m upset. Life with a toddler and a newborn isn’t as hectic as you would think it would be. The toddler is the hardest part. Wesley just sleeps all the time. Oh yeah, I don’t think I did the announcement to Wesley’s birth.

Wesley Cole Braun was born November 6th 2009 at St. Josephs Hospital. He arrived at 5:17pm and weighed 10lbs 03oz he was 20and 3/4 in long.

So that was for anyone who I haven’t really talked to since November. lol He is now 7 weeks old and he’s a super chunk! lol He’s a really good baby. Then again, so was Rylan…and now Rye melts down over the smallest little thing. It’s actually pretty funny because he gets really dramatic. Let’s say you told him he can’t have any candy…well his reaction would be to scream no with a fake cry, throw himself on the ground and then roll over all limp and just lay there. It’s so funny! I don’t think he realizes yet that we will not give in to whiners. He’s so darn cute though. Man, I don’t think there is any better feeling than being a Mommy to two adorable little boys. It makes me wonder if I’m gonna end up having any more kids, and if I do…will I have a girl next? Or will I just keep making boys? lol Either or is fine with me. All I know is if we decide to have another baby, it’s not going to be for a long time.

I’m hoping we get married before anymore children. I definitely want to be married before any of my children can remember us not being married. I think I will feel complete when that happens. In fact, I think that’s the emptiness that I have been feeling for a while now. I just really want to get married. That sounds weird, but to me it would be the most beautiful thing. Especially now that I know I’m with my soul mate. He is really just so wonderful! Unfortunately the whole process can’t begin until Paul kick starts it. Since I’m a traditional girl when it comes to that kind of thing. He has said that he knows we will get married and that he just wants everything to be perfect. That’s ok by me. 🙂 because sadly I’m also the kind of girl that is hard to surprise and impress because I’m always expecting something to happen at every minute in every day. Blah…I hate my overactive mind. I wish I could just turn it off so it didn’t ruin awesome things for me.

I think that’s why I liked being in labor both times…because it was so unpredictable. I had no idea when it was going to happen how intense it was going to be, or when it was going to end. I know, I’m weird. lol For once in my life I finally have someone to love me who truly cares how I feel, and truly loves me just the way I am. Thank god I don’t feel like I have to change everything about myself. My last relationship was a horrible lie. I don’t know why I did that to myself but I’m so proud for being strong enough to finally say I didn’t need to be treated like shit. My son deserves a father who actually cares and wants whats best for him. I am so grateful I met Paul. He’s my reward for being so patient with someone who treated me like a slave or a breadcrumb. Paul is an angel. A smart, gorgeous, super funny, loving angel who was sent to me just in time. Which is where my life motto comes in…."everything will work out if you let it."