Poison Smile

Shes got a pretty smile, it covers up the poison that she hides.

I think about entries I am going to write whenever I walk. Walk to work, walk to the store … where ever. I almost never write them, but seeing as I was a kid when I started writing in OD (TOD way back!) it’s always been a constant. Even when it wasn’t around. I had a lot of names back then. I remember a couple.

[1/2 Smoke Cigarette]

[Grape Sucker]

[SleekSilverSky]

But in 2005 I found a name that stuck. Poison Smile. It fit me, and it was me. I don’t know why I am writing this. What’s the point? I miss my old diary. I miss who I used to be, even though a lot of it sucked.

Maybe I am just feeling my feelings of not being 23 anymore. I always wanted to be old. I’ve wanted to be 80 in a rocking chair on a front porch covered in grandchildren. Maybe it’s just feeling further away. I’ve never minded getting older before. What’s going on in my head man? I feel like I am starving though I just ate. I feel like I can’t today. I can’t do it. Put me in the ground and cover me with dirt.

But no, I just smile. How can I help you?

I know that days aren’t always like this.  WHAT IS MY POINT?

I’m probably just pissy because its pouring out and my socks and shoes are soaked. Nothing I can do about it either.

Iwantsometacosalad.

This entry is a mess but I am going to post it anyway.