Some poems,.. well more like thoughts written down
I hate feeling like this
So tired of living the way I am
Tired of feeling sad and lonely
Tired of crying myself to sleep at night
Wish I had someone to talk to
Who would listen and understand
Who would be there no matter what
I’m tired of having life
And wishing that I would just die
Tired of pretending everything’s ok
When inside I"m breaking down and falling apart
I’m tired of being judged by how I appear
I wish someone would take a deeper look
And see me the way I really am
And not the image I portray
To see the beat up and broken down person that I am
To be able to help instead of saying it’s just a phase and I’ll be ok
To help me learn to love myself
Instead of hating everything that I am
To truly be there
But only in my dreams will this ever happen
No one can hear my cries
No one can see my pain
No one cares enough
To see how I hurt inside
All the tears I shed at night
And all the frowns I try to hide
No one even bothers to ask
How I’m feeling and if I’m doing alright
Or if they do, they don’t really care
Just pretend to listen and hope I don’t say much
No one sees the blod I’ve shed
Or the scars I’ve caused myself
No one sees the real me
They only see what they want to see
And so I’ll have to keep hoping
That maybe someone will care enough
To notice even some of my pain
And who I really am
Because they will have taken a deeper look
I know that you like me
But I’m really not sure why
You don’t really know me
Just the image I let you see
There’s so much that you don’t know
And it scares me about what you’d think
If you knew the truth
I’m not the type of person
You should be chasing after
So many hidden secrets
And so many unknown lies
Not sure how you’d feel
If you knew the real me
The part of me I keep inside
The scared and broken soul
The lonely, sad girl who cries every night
The person who can’t love because she can’t even love herself
<font style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #993366" face
=”Monotype Corsiva” color=”#ff00ff” size=”6″>The cutter who bleeds to let out all the pain
All the pain that she feels
The hateful and selfish person she’s become
From all the times of being hurt and let down
By people who claimed to care
The untrusting nad skeptic girl who pushes people away
When she feels they’re getting too close
Top avoid from getting hurt and let down again
The girl who wears a mask
So you don’t see all the pain she’s in
Is this the type of person you really want to be with?
I used to care about you
And adored your personality
You made me smile and laugh
Unlike anyone ever had
I thought that maybe you could be the one
The one to make me happy
And to never let me down
But I was wrong just like with so many other things
You hurt me more than anyone else ever has
But yet you claim to care
I’m tired of all your lies
And all of your deception
I won’t take it anymore
I won’t let you walk all over me
You’ll have to find someone else
Because I’m done with you for good
I can’t believe that I was so stupid
To believe when you said that you cared
I don’t know how I let my heart get crushed so badly
I will never again believe what you say
I know better now
And know you’re full of crap
YOu don’t care about anyone but yourself
Your selfishness makes me so sick
I almost want to go hurl and die
Everytime I see you
It brings back all the pain
And all the memories I wish I never had…