::Little Blue Box

I am a little blue police box, whirling devil-may-care through space and time, grindy noises and all.  It’s trickling through my fingers, time is.  I’m feverish and wobbly and not at all sensible.  A little bitter, since I got my flu shot and still spike a shivering, teeth-chattering fever every time I crawl back into bed.  Nothing is quite connected.  Everyday noises in the house seem intrusive and discomforting.  Food tastes funny.  My breath stinks.  My hair is lank.  I am leaking, as if I had sprung extra holes.

Unpleasant. 

I would make a pun about seeing the Doctor – but that would also be unpleasant.  Puns should be reserved for dinner parties with the Red Queen on sunlit croquet lawns.  When it is not disgustingly cold outside.   Seriously, can someone tell Santa Claus his pet Arctic wind escaped?  I realize we’re all mad here, but this is ridiculous. 

This would all be better if I wasn’t expected at a meeting at the office in the morning.  I have a funny feeling that is not going to happen.  And right now, in the state I’m in, I don’t mind a bit.  They can hump it.  Just because I’m indispensable doesn’t mean I’m coming into the office with a fever. 

What’s funny is that even in the midst of this, I feel the itch to be creative.  When all I can do is slump on the couch under a blanket and watch trite sitcoms, I want to be writing.  Which is amusing, since when I start feeling better I’m sure I will go back to frittering away my time with videogames and doing laps on the Web.

Dear future self:  get your shit together.  The rest of us back here have done a lot of work to put you in this place:  a nice house, a caring wife, a bubbly son.   Money and time.  You’re not homeless or drug-addicted or crippled or alone or unemployed.  We did pretty good – so get out there and write us a book.  Make us all proud.

It’s what your Daddy would have wanted. 

We’ve been watching Doctor Who — I never bothered, but we’re catching up on Netflix — and I’m continually frustrated by Rose Tyler’s inability to heed the Doctor, and her obsession with haring off after alternate-reality versions of her Daddy.  "Do what the Doctor tells you!"

But had I a TARDIS, I’d do the same.  My father has been dead for twelve years this month.  I never realized how much I would miss him until he was gone.  He’d be astounded at all of this — the expanded Internet.  Smartphones.  The Lord of the Rings movies.  Who-knows-what.  I’d go back and save his life in a heartbeat and spit in the Doctor’s eye if I had to.

I keep wondering if that little blue box will make an appearance, and a teenager who looks a little like me will pop out:  "Dad!  It’s me!  Listen, some things have got to change…"

 

 *

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January 24, 2013
January 24, 2013

What would we do without a TARDIS? Not causing paradoxes and becoming our own grandfathers, that’s for sure!

January 24, 2013

I haven’t watched Dr. Who. Hmmm. I hope you feel better soon! RYN: Yes, sir. *

January 25, 2013

I guess I have always written more about the things that bug me, not too much of the mushy stuff. He is one of the nicest people I have ever met (which is one reason he can’t/won’t get ride of the ex), I just can’t seem to make peace with clingy ex wives and fricken video games..

January 26, 2013

I stopped watching because of Rose. I couldn’t stand her. The best moment was in the first Ten season when she was possessed and looked down at herself, screeching “I’m a CHAV!” (There were other good moments, but that one was particularly satisfying.) Like your idea about nudging your future self. Also, get well soon.

January 26, 2013
January 30, 2013

Thanks for the book recommendation! I’ve never heard of the series but from the reviews it sounds like something I’d read.

January 30, 2013

RYN: Awww. I would loan you mine. I wouldn’t tell.

January 30, 2013

RYN: Aw, see now, I wasn’t even planning to wear ’em for skating until you called ’em _that!_ I was just gonna prance around the pub with secret socks up under my fatigue-pants! Maybe whisper, “Guess what I’m wearing” in Flirtypants’ ear. And then bore and/or horrify him with the truth.

January 31, 2013

RYN: I will do it this way, “Clue Machine – Populaton: You.”

RYN: It’s my trademark! XD And wow. I mean, my face is the color of my jeans right now. Thank you for the vocabulary lesson AND the compliment. *

February 3, 2013

RYN: I’ve no intention of stringing, I swear–I think that’s a horrible thing to do. I may not always be as blunt as him, but I have said I am not a dater and I am not girlfriend material, but if he wants to hang out and be friends, that’s fine. He says he hears me and I hope he really does, and believes me, instead of thinking I’m just playing coy.

February 4, 2013

RYN: the godaddy commercial was cringeworthy in its own way, but at least the two people kissing were facing each other and were aware of the situation. Prom Queen was grabbed from behind and kissed before she knew what was going on. She may have been his secret love, but we have no way of knowing if it was mutual. The fact that she chose to go to prom with someone else, and stayed at the prom with that other person after the kiss, implies it wasn’t. And yes, she seemed to smile, but does that negate the way the kiss happened? People laugh at horribly inappropriate times, but that doesn’t mean they find the situation funny.

February 4, 2013

RYN: if only romantic kisses are sexual, then what was he doing? Why kiss her at all, then? She’s a girl enjoying herself at a dance with her date, but never mind that, this guy sees her as some kind of conquest. In his mind, kissing her could’ve been sexual, romantic, territorial, impulsive, courageous … but whatever HE thought it was, her potential opinion didn’t factor into it. She wasn’t given a say in the matter. She was a blank slate for HIS personal development, and that sucks for her. She deserved better.

February 4, 2013

As for Han and Leia, do you mean that first kiss on the Falcon? Because that was consensual. She had every opportunity to say no. If anything, I feel similarly about her kissing Luke to get back at Han for teasing her. Luke played that same blank slate role as the girl in the commercial.

February 4, 2013

RYN: it bothers me plenty. And to me, the same fundamental issue applies to both. Punching, kissing, shiatsu massage – outside of a medical emergency, no one should be laying their hands (or lips) on anyone else without their consent. Full stop. I’m bothered by the message that if someone wants something badly enough, then it’s okay if they take it without the other person’s consent. I’mbothered by the message that violence is a suitable response. I’m bothered by the message that a person has the right to assault another because his honor was insulted by his date being kissed by another man. I’m bothered by the message that this girl is something for these two to fight over, despite having already made her choice. I’m bothered by a lot in this commercial, obviously. But I’m especially bothered by so many seeing it and thinking it’s harmless, charming, or romantic when we’ve been given no information that it is. For all we know, none of these people have ever spoken to each other before. Yes, it’s a 60 second commercial – but then maybe Audi should have used those 60 seconds to convey messages that aren’t so questionable.

February 8, 2013

RYN: I believe the usual turn of phrase is, “the truth is stranger than fiction” o.o Needless to say, it’s been a bad week.

RYN: Made me laugh. 🙂 *

February 9, 2013

Oh, the Doctor and Rose…I’m glad someone else is in to it. It’s like getting lost in your own world of the feels. And with it on Netflix the way it is…you can get stuck there for hours.

February 9, 2013

Oh I do love the idea of a cocaine dust. Ooo how it sparkles. (say that with the hautiest lady cassandra voice you can imagine)

February 12, 2013

RYN: Well, you still can if you want. I might not be able to get to them for a few days, but OD is mah peeps and confidantes. But I promise I am trying to do the right thing here. Dude is blisteringly honest, and I am being upfront about my misgivings and weirdness, and he says that is okay. I think I am farther in than I meant to get, but I think it’s okay. Or okay-ish. The pub-crew makesfun of me for him, but fuck ’em. He’s mostly-nice to me.

February 15, 2013

ryn: Goodness, to be truthful, I didn’t even think of it until you mentioned that…I remember there was a time when just about all diaries only spoke of binging & purging by young girls.