::Guns

toplayalongathome: bemydruidess typeOnegative

Last weekend, I went to a gun range for the first time and had my first ‘real’ experience with firearms. We turned money into noise at a pretty fantastic rate!

The place is a fairly unassuming stretch of trees and dirt, smack in the middle of a city. You pull down this hidden dirt road and suddenly it seems like you’re in the wilderness. Having earplugs reinforces this, since you can’t hear the traffic on the main road. Just guns crack-crack-cracking.

I asked a friend to take me, since I wanted to learn more about guns. I’ve always thought it might be wise to have one in the house for personal defense. In the event of a criminal invasion, or for that matter a zombie apocalypse or something wicked like that. K has always been kind of leery about having one in the house — mostly because I’d never handled one and didn’t know what I was doing with them. I’m not sure if she was worried I’d parade it around and play with it, or go cowboy and use it when it’s not needed. But I thought that getting more educated might put those fears to rest.

Also, someday I’d like to go hunting – it’s one of those rites of passage that a lot of city boys don’t get. I don’t want to go hunting out of a bloody-minded desire to murder furry things. More because I feel I should know what it’s like to kill what I eat. Or eat what I kill.

And if that zombie apocalypse happens, I’ll need to know how to hunt once the canned goods run out.

So, there we were — 90 degrees in the shade, and (ha!) sweating bullets.

Yeah, I apologize for that one.

We brought a veritable cornucopia of things that go bang. Several pistols, a rifle, and a shotgun. I learned the following things:

1) Pistols are damned hard to aim accurately, especially once you get above .22 caliber. However, making holes near the center of the target is strangely gratifying.

2) Pistols above .22 caliber make the COOLEST NOISE EVER. There’s even a concussion wave if you are standing off to the side.

3) Semi-automatic pistols are kinda cool for their ability to throw lots of hot load downrange, but they have lots of fiddly parts and buttons – it can be hard for a noob to know if there’s “one in the chamber” or if a gun is safe.

4) Revolvers, on the other hand, give you “only” six shots – but if you kick the cylinder out to the side, the gun is SAFE. PERIOD. And I like that. It is easy to visually check – cylinder is open, I am safe. Or, no bullets in the cylinder, I am safe. It seemed like there were less moving parts to get a newbie in trouble. So, if I were looking for a handgun, I might lean toward a revolver.

5) The .22 rifle we brought was interesting, but kept jamming, so we quit using it until my buddy could take it apart at a later date.

6) I fired a Benelli 12-gauge pump-action shotgun. A lot. And kind of fell in love with it. Well, in like anyway.

Everything about the shotgun seemed to fit me. The size of the thing, holding it two hands, was just right for my body. The weight was just about right. Loading it was a cinch. Checking it for safety was also easy – on this model, similar to the revolver, you half-cock the pump (i.e. backward, but not forward again). Look in the slot. Is there a shell there? If not, you are safe until you finish racking the gun.

The actual firing of the shotgun was more visceral and satisfying, as well. It kicks like a mule, but I’m a big man and was able to take it without too much trouble. The roar is impressive, and the result even more so. Things I aimed at pretty much evaporated – blowing things into smithereens is pretty thrilling in comparison when you’ve spent an hour putting tiny holes in them, first.

And being a big, two-handed weapon with a barrel, it was a lot easier for me to aim than the larger-caliber pistols. There was no worry about the position of your hand when squeezing the trigger, or overcompensating for kick.

Anyway, it was fun. And I’m glad for the education, if nothing else.

Afterward we took things apart and cleaned them – also not as hard as I always thought it would be, although that apparently depends on the type of firearm you buy. Shotguns and revolvers, pretty easy. One of the semi-automatics we used comes apart in five pieces – ack!

We talked a lot about the different firearms and their uses, too.

I think a shotgun is actually a wise buy, if I must have a firearm in the house. It affects a spread, meaning I’m less likely to miss in a tense situation. The sound of the shotgun’s racking alone is scary, and might frighten away a burglar – let alone if I put the first shell through the ceiling.

Plus the shotgun can actually be used for a bunch of other stuff (besides shooting stupid criminals) – skeet shooting, hunting, etc. From what I’m told, the same gun can be used to hunt anything from ducks up to grizzly bears, depending on what sort of shell you feed it. So that’s kind of neat.

Anyway, I don’t think I’m going to become one of “those people” that has a massive gun collection and is ready for violent overthrow of the government. But if Shit ever Happens at my house, I’d like a little more than my handy-dandy rapier on hand.