::Antici…

toplayalongathome: eightdays pitchshifter

The not-so-new job has ramped itself up into something close to a Real Job. I have a project on tap that begins next week – creating a web-based helpdesk for our clients, which i’ve been clamoring for since I got hired. Well, I got the greenlight to spend the money and do the work. On the up side, I won’t have to do support out of a fucking Outlook box anymore. It’s like living out of a suitcase. Too small, too disorganized, too rumpled and annoying.

Assuming this helpdesk project succeeds, I probably guarantee myself a permanent position. …I was hired on a basis of being evaluated every six months, so there’s been that at the back of my mind. Yuck, insecurity. So, anyway.

I noticed that it’s been two weeks since I wrote an entry. I have a bad habit of sneaking onto OD to read and note and bounce around on Random, and then nattering off to do work things without writing.

…

I love and hate this time of year. Walking around outdoors in shirtsleeves after six months of bundling up is glorious, and being awake during the day to take in the pouring sunshine is fantastic. I’m energized by the blooming things and the almost-finished leaves on the trees. One thing this town has going for it is the amount of greenstuff.

But I hatehate being a walking hard-on in the springtime. I mean, I have a high sex drive as it is. But I can’t think straight, except in terms of who I’d fuck, if I had the chance. And most of the year, that’s just idle fantasy. Right now, I’m drooling and dissatisfied and ready — genuinely ready — to do all sorts of things I’d never consider otherwise.

I suppose that’s the silver lining of being fat and funny-looking. I don’t have women throwing themselves at me. I don’t have to worry about breaking K’s heart or getting some stranger pregnant or catching a disease. Because it just flat-out ain’t gonna happen. But it’s still a little frightening when i look inside myself and realize I -want- to be seduced. Like, genuinely would welcome the opportunity to let loose and do Wrong (oh so right, but Wrong).

This, too, shall pass. In the meantime, pass the porn, please. Sigh. ugh.

Geek notes: My Ptolus D&D4E campaign kicks off on Sunday, and I don’t have a damn thing down on paper – at all. That’s really, really bad. Kind of the equivalent of not having studied for a final exam. The good news is I still have 48 hours to scrape some stuff together. They say the first game is the hardest. “So, you’re all in a bar…”

Fitness notes: I’ve fallen in love with the elliptical. I can do the treadmill, but get some serious pain and such in my ankles and back. I can do the bike, but it’s kind of uncomfortable on my pantsdragon and his friends, and puts all the exercise on my legs – which aren’t quite ready for primetime. The elliptical allows me to split the work between my four limbs, and take pressure off whatever is starting to tighten up while still maintaining my heartrate and RPMs. Since I started, I’ve upped from 20 minutes nonstop, to 25, and last time to 30. Next I’m going to increase the “level” of the machine and see what that does.

I haven’t lost any weight, yet. But i’ve been doing some light lifting, just for a change of pace. I’m hoping that I’ve lost a little chub and replaced it with some muscle.

Oh, and the club offered a free appointment with a personal trainer for signing up. And mine’s tonight. So I’m fully expecting to come home broken and beaten. We’ll see. I hope he doesn’t tie me in knots.