::Mindcramp

toplayalongathome:raidersofthelostarksoundtrack

Things right now remind me of a high-adventure pulp fiction serial, during the very beginning of the episode IMMEDIATELY AFTER a terrifying cliffhanger?

Will the Speeding Locomotive destroy Our Hero?

Will Our Hero ever defeat the dastardly Doctor Whomsoever and save Betty Sue?

What the Fuck were you Thinking there, Pal?

I’m babbling. I’d really rather be shouting — beating on things — throwing stuff — kicking stuff. Climbing over the enemy wall with steel in one hand and flaming standard in the other, bellowing “COME ON YOU RATS! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?!” in classic pulpy style. And, yes… I would omit that comma. Yes, yes I would. Talk about living dangerously.

My spring break was ruined and I just can’t get my head wrapped around the idea that I’m not going to have a break until May. Our Hero really needed some Time to Chill the Fuck Out.

One of my close friends found out his fiance had been cheating on him. The woman he moved out of town to the wilderness boonies to be with. For whom he commuted two hours a day, working his ass off to support her and her children. While she didn’t hold a job. And while she was fucking someone else on the side.

When he found out (he told Our Hero), he was really ready to try and Make Things Work. And she didn’t extend the slightest olive branch. So he grabbed a bag of clothes and headed for the Big City.

Who does he know in the Big City after a year and more away? That would be me.

And I know he’d do it for me. But.

He’s been living on my couch for a week and a half.

And this is Absolutely. Cramping. My Brain.

My digital cable is downstairs. My Playstation is downstairs. My kitchen and my spare crapper are down there. Hell, more than half the living space in this place is down there — and now I can’t use it because he’s asleep when I’m awake!

This is compounded by the fact that he has just been ejected forcibly from a household with a loving woman and many clingy adorable small childrenlike objects. And therefore (though I’m not sure he realizes this) it has made him used to attention. And talking. And having people all around.

So… that leisure time Our Hero wanted to spend over Spring Break? Taken, thanks.

Now that Our Hero is back with his nose to the grindstone (that being the great academic edifice he throws money at twice a year)? When Our Hero desperately needs everyone to Go Far Away and let him do homework?

Yeah, not happening. Between yon Clingy Couchsurfer and yon Fair Maiden, Our Hero has no space. And is just about ready to slap down $1000 on a wicked sweet laptop just so he can go Elsewhere to do his homework.

It’s really interesting how the need to blow off steam — play games — kick ass — makes it im(fucking)possible to get started on my homework. What I really need is a big stick. Anyone that speaketh to me while I do homework will get smacked with Yon Beatstick.

The Fair Maiden gets the padded end of Yon Beatstick, though.