::Current

Being swept down the river toward the falls wouldn’t be so bad, were the water not so cold and full of things that bite.

What I mean to say is that unemployment is never kind to me. After the initial three weeks of mad jobsearching, I find that I’m spending a lot of time moping around the computer and not leaving the house.

Not good.

I blew an interview really badly and missed out on a slam-dunk call center job. The guy was concerned that I was overqualified. Which I guess means that he’s worried I’d take his pay for a month and then leave for something better. Ugh. That’s a stupid reason to miss out on a job. Especially since I don’t have a degree, and am therefore underqualified for EVERYTHING else technical.

The job leads have dwindled down to nothing. I haven’t even gotten hits worth counting on my Monster.com resume. Over 100 applications and less than a dozen employer views. Again, not good.

I applied to FedEx out at the airport. That’s a part time gig, 20-30 hours. But it pays nicely, offers benefits, and would get me in shape. I could probably pick up some sort of restaurant work in the off hours. That’d make ends meet until I can get into school in the fall.

If FedEx doesn’t call me back, not sure what Plan B is. Full time restaurant work, or a temp agency — those are probably my best bets. I don’t like the idea of getting back into the food service grind, but I think I like the idea of wearing office clothes every day even less.

I really should be getting more writing done. I’m not sure why I feel so stifled. The words are there, but the ideas don’t come.

Been trading freewrites with a friend. This has helped the thinking process some. On the other hand, I did a Google search on my name just for kicks, and found out he’d submitted one of my freewrite pieces to a flash-fiction site, on my behalf. Wish he’d mentioned he was going to do that. I feel half-embarrassed and half-annoyed about it. Partially because I didn’t feel like it was a finished piece of writing. Partially just because I’m a year-of-the-Dragon and therefore a territorial bastard. Then again, also feeling partially proud that the site saw fit to put my story up. Such as it was. Conflicting feelings. Oh well — not worth raising a fuss about. Just a strange experience.

Elsewhere on the writing front: I finally quit making excuses, did a final draft (the 3rd) of that Bitter Tides story, and submitted it to F&SF. I look forward to my first professional rejection slip. It will instantly mark me as a more serious writer than 99% of everyone else. Then I can sneer and pretend to be elite. (Just kidding.) The story is good, character-driven: I’m just concerned that it’s a little too “stock fantasy” to get into F&SF. They seem to dig the bizarre, edgy stuff. We’ll see. Second shot, if/when I get rejected (nobody makes it in on the first shot) will probably be Realms of Fantasy. Which is another long shot, but hey. Why not start at the top?

And the $300 or $400 from getting published would go a little way toward offsetting this unemployment shit, too. Yeah.

Too much stress. I could use a good screw.

Then I won’t be so tempted to stab people with this screwdriver.