it smells like cats.

Well, as of tomorrow it’s been a whole week since I last saw Luke. And there’s still a whole week to go! it really sucks. i was all, "yeah, two weeks apart will be awesome for our relationship considering how much time we spend together, etc etc" but we’ve probably had more fights since he left then if he’d have been here. But those were all in the first few days and we haven’t argued in a while I think.

I got out of the shower to this message this morning:
"Fuck i love you. I have never met anyone I have loved so much. I am completely smitten over you. please don’t ever break my heart. I love you so much beautiful."
and that brightened my day immensely. but then I had no money left to buy a new doona cover and got grumpy again. i have all these things I need to do because I’ve only got three days these holidays to myself, and about a million assignments and two dresses to finish, but I just can’t be bothered getting around to it. I didn;t think I’d need to wash my hair in the shower this morning because I washed it yesterday, but now it’s really greasy and I can’t figure out if it’s worth having another shower when I’m just going to be home all day.

Working heaps means I’m going to get paid about $300 next week. I need it this week, though, because I’d buy some new jeans, pay back my mum, and get another doona cover and maybe a new nose ring. But because next week is when Luke comes back, i know that I’ll just end up blowing it all on booze and taxis and cigarettes. and I’ll still be without a doona cover.

I want my license.

I’m just so frustrated, gah! I just looked around my room because i had a moment of motivation to clean up, but then I looked at the hideous excuse for a doona cover that’s currently on my bed and now I can’t be bothered again because the room won’t look good anyway. Sometimes I hate the size of my room. And i hate the couch, it smells like cats. And the TV is always dusty and the VCR doesn’t work  and the heater only heats about a third of the room. And it accumulates so much more junk. Like, a random can of beer, empty cider bottles, pieces of food I don’t remember bringing down, empty plates and coffee cups, numerous school folders and pieces of clothing I haven’t worn in months. And I can’t even find my sewing machine.

If I had money today, I’d have bought a new doona cover, maybe even a new doona, got a nice lunch and a book and sat peacefully. but I don’t even have enough money to catch a bus.

this is now just me grumbling, so I think I’ll go.