head’sallmessedup.

Gahh. I don’t know what’s going on right now.

I know I’m pretty happy, because usually I don’t feel like this, so I figure it must be general happy-causing-feelings, which is good and fun.

But my feelings.. meh.

Things with Josh are complicated. I mean, we’re friends.. and occasionally we get in to fights and he makes me cry, but then we get over it. And it’s like, most days I’m over him, but then some days I really miss him, and I think he might miss me too. Last night we had a conversation at a point where neither of us were really thinking straight and he said "take me back if I ever ask."

I think I managed to dodge it successfully though. Dodge, because I’m really entirely not sure. And then there’s the whole Marko-attempting-to-wait-an-entire-year for me and I think God, if you do exist, why make such a heavenly creature, gorgeous and funny and so unbelievably in to me as he seems to be, live so far away? Or perhaps it is I that lives too far away. Either way, there’s a gap, and I dislike it. I’m also kinda surprised by the fact that instead of just letting this be a friendship thing and going out and getting many, many girls as his aura of sexy could definitely accomplish, he is talking to, and waiting for, a girl he hasn’t even met yet. I’m kinda glad, though. But maybe I actually dreamed him up. or MAYBE he’s actually a freaky stalker fifty-year-old pedophile and that’s why he seems so perfect. That’d be in accordance with how LC luck is supposed to pan out, so it’s not impossible.

school is pretty good. I look forward to going, which is new for me. And I have no desire to miss classes, which is also new. I love history and drama, and studies is really interesting, even if there is a slightly-attractive-dickhead-looking-guy-who-is-younger-than-me who always seems to sit directly across from me and make eye contact at weird moments. I accidentally flashed him my knickers across the room yesterday, because I forgot I was wearing a short dress, whoops. Writing is.. well.I guess i just don’t like my teacher. other than that it’s ok, because the class just seems to be everyone sitting and doing their own thing, not structured like ‘do this here and write this and this has to be exactly this long’ kinda thing, which pleases me. There’s also a boy in my history class whom I’ve sat with on a number of occasions, and is quite attractive, but in a pretty, familiar kind of way, It’s hard to explain. He went to St. Virgils, so we had a nice chat about that. Then I mentioned I was in grade twelve and he got kinda disappointed so I don’t know what that means. But he plays the saxophone. I like making new friends. In the history role play next week I am the assistant to both the Secretary of State and the Ambassador of Russia. We’ve decided to ally with Germany, so I’ll let you know how that pans out. Our motto is ‘We Eat Children’, which was thought up by the Ambassador, so it should be an interesting day.

I bought many, many lollies today and I regret it. Anyone want to eat several bags of gummi cola bottles? I’ve got enough.

Today the person in the canteen line before me took the last ham and salad roll on a white roll, so I had to get a seeded brown one, and it was actually quite pleasing. Perhaps from now on I’ll continue to get it on brown.

The best thing to buy from Kmart with $2 is a box of sesame street bandaids.

xx LC