Why Me?!?!?….

Me && Howard got together last night && I realized he can’t kiss. The first time, I thought it was me, but last night I realized it was him. Oh well.

I just wanna cry. Everytime something good happens in my life, something bad follows it. Now me && Howard are together, and I could be pregnant!? Uh. He’s not going to believe me, cuz this happened 1 or 2 weeks before we started talking. && my dumbass told him that I haven’t had sex in months. I’m gonna look like a liar, and he wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. I’m not telling him at all. This sucks for real. I found someone who is more interested in Teyanna than me {unlike her daddy} && actually loves to see her {unlike her daddy} && now something is going to ruin that for me && Teyanna && it’s just sad. I just wanna crawl under a rock && cry until I can’t cry anymore. But I still don’t see how this happened…..like I told ya’ll that day I wrote about it after it happened, he didn’t get any pumps, so nothing could have felt soo good that he would nut. Everytime he would stick it in I would just move it right back out {I’m very flexible}. Unless I was ovulating && it was pre-nut {which comes out everytime he’s in the mood}. Do ya’ll think it will be possible for my period to start 28 days after that day, because I was bleeding right after he was done? Uh. I dunno. Maybe I’m just trying to find excuses…..That’s the only possibility I can think of. Otherwise, I am pregnant. It’s been waayyy over 35 days since my last period. I believe it happened on the 21st, because I wrote about it on the 22nd. If my excuse isn’t just an excuse then that means I should start on the 18th of this month, but who the hell is gonna wait that long to find out?!?!? Not I. Well tomorrow I’m going to Laurhea’s house, && I’m gonna ask Howard if he has $10 {they live kinda close} && I’ma tell Laurhea to buy me a test. I know it might be too early, but I could’ve got pregnant before he raped me, don’t remember having sex before then, but who knows. She can just buy the one with 3 tests in it, and I’ll just take one tomorrow && then the rest later. Uh. If it says negative, then there’s a possibility. The less far along I am, the more I have to think. Maybe I should just go to a clinic, but I don’t wanna have to sit there && fill out paper work like the last time. Plus, this time, I might pass out or just bust out with a loud cry. I’d rather be emotional with people I know. If it says negative, we’re going to a clinic next week. OMG This is soo stressful!

Let’s change the subject.

I spent the day with Ronke yesturday. That’s how me && Howard kissed again. We did nothing, && time was flying by soo fast. It was weird, cuz usually when you’re doing nothing, time goes by slow, but the next thing I new it was dark outside. We ended up going to Laurhea’s house some time before 9pm. Apparently Ronke heard Larry on the phone sayin that I was trying to act like I was pregnant and that the baby wasn’t his or something like that. How childish….you said that the last time with yo bitch ass! Then when we were leaving he yelled out the window, "Bye bitch!" Okay. Now if that’s not childish, I don’t know what is. Grow the fuck up! That’s all he does when we’re not together, is try to hurt my feelings && it’s dumb, cuz it never works. But anyway. Laurhea has a big hole in her door to her room, from Larry. I thought it was cuz they were talking about me, but she told me that he was trying to get in the room with his dumbass. But yeah, after that is when we saw Howard && got together officially. Unfortunately, they have the same last name, so I’m still Mrs. Jones, but oh well….I’m lovin it.

My Friend’s Diaries….

RonkeKeturahJasmine

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