The People You Were Once Close To

I must admit I recently broke down crying in my car driving back to my house from the gym. I stopped at a red light and all of a sudden I turn around to look at the passenger seat and i imagine her sitting there with me as if she was there. I get all of these flashbacks and memories of my best friend and I laughing and joking around, dancing jamming out to music while going to school together in the mornings. All the good and bad stuff that have happened in our lives and things we’ve been through. Talking about boys. Her crying in my car and me being there comforting her. I could hear her laugh in my head as those memories went through. All those memories came to my mind. My eyes teared up and all of a sudden i bursted out crying nonstop…i just couldn’t stop crying. I missed her so much she’s been away for the longest time already and i’ve never felt so lonely in my life. I felt like i was alone and that i had no one to turn to. No one to talk to anymore. Like i’ve lost someone so important in my life that i was mourning about it. and she is, she is important…she still is. Because you can’t go one day from telling each other everything and the next to "I’m not your friend anymore" and not care about that person. What about the memories? How can you forget all of that stuff with your best friend? I would see her almost everyday. How can I NOT miss her. I try to not think about it and just let it go. I always swept it under the rug and not deal with my emotions and how i feel because i don’t want people to feel sorry for me. But if i do ever get to see her again, i don’t think i’ll be able to hold back my tears. She’s by far the only girlfriend that i love and deeply care about in this world. I will always consider her my best friend despite of all the bullshit we’ve been through. Even though she might not see me as her best friend anymore, I will always be here no matter what happens. She can always count on me, I will gladly have my arms open and my shoulder for her to cry on because i will always be here for her like family.