Tired and a little bored

So I’m sitting here watching rush hour movies. I’m on the second one. These movies are hilarious. I’m watching them alone. Why? Because my selfish ass sister doesn’t seem to want to share mom. She stays in her room all day watching movies on YouTube. She claims she doesn’t like sit in the living room watching dvds. Makes no sense, but half the time she doesn’t lol. So I guess at some point mom will come in to watch the last of the 3 movies. To be honest I wish I lived alone. I still crave my privacy and I am still hating the fact that I have to deal with the aftermath of moving. I haven’t heard much from S today, other than a good morning gif text. I like them but I don’t like the fact that he’s slowed down. I shouldn’t let that bother me, but I do. I’m so conflicted because I want things to be fixed but I don’t really feel like trying as hard anymore. Despite what we’ve talked about as far as how this could be fixed. I love and miss him, but I’m upset. I’m bored and lonely as well. I prefer to be alone when dealing with things but right now I don’t have much of a choice. I still feel down and my mom asks more questions than I feel like answering sometimes. She can be annoying and I’m still in a bitter state. I will keep praying for peace, but in the mean time, I will get back to my job search.

I’ve been slacking. Time to get back on it. I hope to hear back by Monday from that one job with good news. In the mean time I will put in to try to work at the grocery store I used to work at before. I need income. I don’t know exactly when I’ll get my 401k, and I need money before things start getting really tight. Ugh I so hate my life right now. I’ve spent most of the day going through my moms bins of junk and smh at the shit she’s kept. I’ve thrown so much stuff away it’s ridiculous. My next step will be to do laundry. I don’t know the last time they did any laundry, but I need to wash at least my own clothes because I’m starting to run out of clean stuff to wear. I guess I’m supposed to be ok with their way of life because they are family. I am helping as much as I can, and it’s a lot for one person. I know it’s hard for mom due to working so much but her being a pack rat doesn’t help. I think they both suffer from some form of depression because she was not like this growing up. I guess things got worse overtime and it’s not always easy to find time and also to stay positive. I pray God helps them both. I hate to see them like this. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I will do as much as I can while I am here.