finally my ultrasound its a …..

 well it turns out im having a boy :). we are excited mostly. other than that i have no idea what is going on. i have a new job. start on monday. i make more but it will be about the same as what im making now due to sitter. and even that is cheaper than what i could be paying. so yeah. im excited but again im not. ive been trying ot get with this company for a few months now. 

warning warning warning warning wanrning tmi

so me and the bf’s sex life has completely gone down hill. ok it just sucks. he doesnt get me off and then gets upset cause i get whiny and pouty. well i deserve to get off too. i mean i feel like i try and nothing changed and its to the point to where he doesnt even want me sexually at all. when im home hes never in the mood. but when i go to work he watches porn instead. the other day i took a bath cause i was hurting from work. and he was masturbating in the living room. do you know upsetting it is… that he would rather masturbate then have sex with me. im 5 months pregnant and have weight issues before that. and now he doesnt want to have sex with me at all. he says cause he doesnt see the point. i want to do so much sexually with him but its always me having to be more dominant. i like to switch it up. i want to feel like he wants me sexually. and he wonders why i get distant. its hard for me to want to cuddle up and be lovely dovey with him when i know thats all it is. i just cry about it. its the worse feeling in the world right now. yea he loves me but he doesnt find me attractive. im going to see if he wants to try the 30 day challenage. its where we have sex everyday for 30 days. maybe. something has got to change otherwise we will end up breaking up. cause i dont want to be a sexless relationship. i need sex. thats krystal thats apart of who i am.