well i typed more than i thought i would figures

 as always i have so much to say and so little motivation to write. nothing really major has happened.

me and the bf have fights..sometimes small fights sometimes bigger ones. they have seem to calm down but who knows.  he leaves for utah the 23rd. im a array of emotions. sad upset and angry. but its getting better. he finally understand what it means to me. rather or not he will make it up or not is not the point. i just wanted to be heard and understood and he has given me that. 

so my job sucks. my sitter sort of left last minunite and i ended up missing 2 two if work while in training. so while explaining what happened i got the same speech several times , a concerfance call by big boss. And because of that i lost alot of hours. according to them i am unrelalible. which is bullshit. i am a damn hard worker. but there was nothing i could do. and i gave as much notice as i could since i only had the store number. well i did the best i could. 

myles is doing good. he is still clingy but in some ways it is getting better in others its not. he saw the doctor. everything seems fine. but i did mention that his speech has not progressed.  i am not expecting miracles but i am expecting to hear him say anything. he doesnt even want to say thank you..which he could. his vocab has not increased. so the doctor is going to have him checked out to see what is going on rather it be a medical reason or he just doesn’t want to. he is a sweet kid tho. so much a mommy’s boy. earlier something scared him after he had went to bed. i grabbed him and craddled him. i never do that..nor has he ever really liked it. he only wants to cuddle when it suits him. spoiled. and i try so hard not spoil him but love him. im thinking about a few months ahead when im as big as a cow.

pregnancy note everything seems to be going fine. my doctor is nice and i really like her. we did a check to hear the heartbeat but could not find it. so we go again later this week. i am 11 weeks about to be 12 weeks. all the sypmtons are getting better but i do have pains. which concern me. but they tell me unless there is blood no worries. of course some of it could be gas pains too. need to exercise…need to exercise. 

i am redoing the apartment. i have cleaned out the closets and rearranged things and working on making this place look good. i just want it to look like a home not a single guy lives here. he grumbles as me. does not like change. does not take change well. 

I am cooking lots. baking lots. and making yummy foods. homemade cheesecake and other things i just cant remember now. finally getting sleepy tho i will be getting up in a few hours. so much to do. bombing the house. we keep having a flea problem not sure why tho. we bombed the place the other week. and still finding fleas. we moved everything tonight and sprayed the carpets. deep cleaned the ferrets. tomorrow going to bomb again. hopefully this will be the last time. we really did the ferrets over. deep clean bath.. drops…and a spray. i really like how the living room is looking. moved some furniture around and just need ot add a female touch and yeah. nothing major. some throw pillows..add some pictures little this and little that. its not a big place. i dont want to take away from the space just make it look and feel better. of course now he is talking about getting a bigger tv. boys >>. 

my mom has a blood clot somewhere. and cant fly here. and i cant afford to fly her here. i thought about going down there but i doubt it. ill just have to save and wait till october. i miss my family.